


Can't Help Falling

by Psy456



Series: A Shared Lifetime - Written Order (Preferred) [9]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Small Appearances by the rest of the Bellas, side bechloe, staubrey - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 01:19:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18419843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psy456/pseuds/Psy456
Summary: Aubrey, Stacie, Beca and Chloe walk out of a karaoke bar... This is the Staubrey version of what happened that night.





	Can't Help Falling

**Author's Note:**

> A Staubrey Interlude that takes place during ‘They Had Time,’ the same night as the Bechloe Interlude – Chapter 11 - set during Spring Break in the first movie.  
> This started out as a Staubrey Week 2019 bed sharing story, but when I realized how key it was for their relationship, I had to take my time to get it right. Hopefully I succeeded.  
> So, if you haven’t read Time… mini spoilers ahead and I hope it still makes sense without some of the backstory.

Can’t Help Falling: A Staubrey Interlude

 

~A~

“That was fun,” Aubrey said as the Bellas left the karaoke bar.

“You say that because you didn’t have to drink a full glass of that cheap ass vodka.” Ashley whined.

“Next time you should sing better.” Amy took a deep breath of the night air. “But I’m not quite ready to go back to the dorm yet, I’ve got a date.”

“It’s like one in the morning. Are they still waiting for you?” Cynthia Rose asked.

“Psh, who wouldn’t wait for all this?” Amy ran one hand down her side. “Laters, pitches.”

Beca watched her go. “That is one secure woman.” Aubrey didn’t think Beca even noticed how she pulled Chloe into her side.

“I can respect that.” Stacie shrugged as she urged them to start walking.

“What’s the matter, Conrad?” Beca asked as she and Chloe started walking at an angle due to the way they were leaning into each other. “Got a hot date?”

“Yeah, with my books.” Stacie kicked a rock.

Aubrey stayed silent, content to let the rest of them banter as they walked back to campus. Despite everything she’d downed, she wasn’t sloppy drunk. She’d learned how to drink with her two _very_ competitive brothers and it would take more than the cheap alcohol and beer they’d been drinking to really take her out. She was buzzed but not falling down.

‘ _Okay, maybe I’m a little more than buzzed_ ,’ Aubrey thought when she found herself watching Stacie’s jean clad legs in front of her for the fourth time.

One by one most of the Bellas split off toward their dorms until only she, Stacie, Beca, and Chloe remained. She couldn’t help the smile as she watched Chloe try and convince Beca that she was too drunk to go to her dorm.

Aubrey didn’t mind, she’d let go of most of her harsh and ultimately incorrect opinions and assumptions about Beca after The Brawl. She was just happy the two of them had managed to get past the heartache she herself had caused them and were closer than ever. Beca treated Chloe with nothing but respect, unlike some of the men and women Chloe had dated in the past. She was _slowly_ rising in Aubrey’s esteem as someone suitable for her best friend.

When she found herself eyeing Stacie again, this time the way said jeans fit snugly around her hips, Aubrey forced herself to move up so they were all walking in a line with herself and Stacie as bookends.

“Yup. It would be irresponsible of me to let you get lost.” Chloe was saying very earnestly and Beca tripped. Aubrey couldn’t hold back the snort at the thought that either of them was sober.

“What?” Beca asked her as Aubrey moved up on her left.

“Oh please. Both of you are too drunk to walk straight.” Aubrey snickered. “Of course, that could just be because of your –”

“If you make a toner comment right now…” Beca cut her off and tried to glare. Stacie snorted on their opposite side and Beca turned, tugging Chloe around with her.

“It’s not like she’d be wrong, DJ.” Stacie shrugged when Beca and Chloe both gasped. “I know; the truth hurts.” Then she was looking past them directly at Aubrey and winked. “My roommate is out of town this weekend, you want a safe space?”

It had to have been the alcohol but the usual immediate ‘no’ that Aubrey gave such invites – and there had been many over the year – was nowhere in her head. She told herself it was because of the way Chloe and Beca were hanging on each other and what _they_ might do once they were back at the house, and not because of her own toner for the tall woman staring at her.

Her feelings about Stacie were complicated to the say the least. The second she’d seen her walk on stage at auditions she knew that Stacie had been the look that the Bellas needed. When she’d smiled at them, Aubrey had felt an almost forgotten tug at the sweetness of it. She hadn’t been on any dates since before finals and she’d almost forgotten what attraction felt like. Then she’d found out Stacie was under 18 and told herself to look elsewhere. Again.

Except she _hadn’t_.

Aubrey told herself it was because this year was too important for things like dating. Senior year was too busy with school work, too packed with daily Bellas rehearsals. She didn’t have time for boyfriends or girlfriends. She’d be too busy with everything else to concern herself with any _one_ else.

Except then she saw Stacie slumped over a table at the library, half starved, and before she’d even realized the words were out of her mouth, ordered her to pack up her stuff and marched her over to the Bella House where she’d made them both dinner. By the end of it, apparently stuffed insensible on her own food, she offered the kitchen to Stacie any time she needed it to study.

Now here they were, months later, Aubrey feeling freer than she had in a long time and an offer dangling in front of her. One she knew she should decline but instead found herself considering.

“Why do I think that’s not exactly what you mean?” Stacie only shrugged at her and Aubrey sighed. “You sure your roommate won’t mind if I sleep in her bed?” She was sure that hadn’t been what Stacie had meant, but…

“Aubrey, you used to not like it when I would even _sit_ on your made-to-military-standards-bed. It took a full year before you stopped wincing. You’re going to sleep in someone else’s without permission?” Chloe looked at her slyly; focused despite the alcohol.

“You forget she let me sleep in her bed during Spring Break.” Stacie interrupted.

“Oh shit!” Chloe slapped her forehead and would’ve gone down if Beca hadn’t caught her. “That’s right! I forgot!”

“Wait, what?” Beca held up her hand. “This sounds… kinda familiar… Wait, did you guys actually… you know.” Aubrey felt herself flush as Beca waved her hand in front of her waist. “You **_know_**.” She added a pelvic thrust and Aubrey panicked.

“ **NO**!” She coughed to try and cover how squeaky her voice came out.

“No, Aubrey wasn’t in it at the time.” Stacie said and muttered something else that Aubrey didn’t quite hear.

“That’s right.” Beca snapped her fingers. “Because you were doing airport runs. And Chloe… had this obsession with laundry?”

“I needed to keep busy.” Chloe shrugged and Aubrey felt another brush of sorrow at being the reason for Chloe’s sadness. Chloe leaned forward and kissed Beca’s cheek. “But that’s the past. And now I’m drunk with my three favorite peoples in the whole wide world.”

Beca’s eyes, which had gone hazy when Chloe’s lips landed on her cheek, focused back in on Aubrey. “And you let her sleep in your bed?”

“It was the least I could do. I wasn’t going to be in it.” She shrugged, as if it had been no big deal, but privately remembered how much she’d thought about Stacie in her bed. It was the one indulgence she’d allowed herself while she’d been at home; otherwise most of it was spent worrying about if she and Chloe would _really_ remain friends, no matter that Chloe had promised they were fine before she’d left. It was the thought that Aubrey had entertained when sleep was elusive and, sometimes just before she’d drifted off, her mind had added herself between the sheets and tangled with slender limbs. Sometimes – most times – the feeling was one of comfort but on several occasions she’d found herself wondering what it would be like to have that long body sliding against her own.

Suddenly Stacie was crossing behind the other two and moving toward Aubrey, pulling her from thoughts that had gone dangerously close to the line Aubrey had drawn herself. “Come on, Aubrey. Maybe I’ll tell you about what I thought of while I was in your bed.” When Aubrey froze Stacie merely took her hand and tugged her in the direction of the dorm. “Have fun you two. Try to get _some_ sleep.”

Trying desperately to cover the fact that her knees wanted to lock, Stacie’s words pushing her closer to that point in the sand, Aubrey called over her shoulder, “Yeah, don’t keep Chloe up all night, hobbit.” She heard them muttering behind them but soon enough she and Stacie were alone.

Headed to Stacie’s dorm.

And her empty room.

‘ _If there’s ever a time I needed to be as stubborn as the rest of my family, this is it_ ,’ Aubrey thought to herself.

Yet she didn’t let go of Stacie’s hand. She also refused to acknowledge how nice it felt in her own, especially when Stacie linked their fingers together. Or that her thumb occasionally swiped across the back of Stacie’s hand.

They were silent the entire trip, all the way up until they entered Stacie’s room.

“Crap, hold on. Let me clean a bit.” Stacie said as she closed and locked the door behind them. “Desk chair is pretty comfy for at least two seconds.” She flashed Aubrey a grin.

“Now I know why you were in the library so much.” Moving to sit in the chair, Aubrey looked around the room which was actually as well kept and organized as her own. The only thing that was out of place was the pile of laundry on the bed against the right wall. “Is there any padding in this at all?”

Stacie grabbed the basket sitting by the bed and began tossing clothes into it. “Someone was giving away chairs from one of the computer labs at the high school after they’d upgraded.” She shrugged and Aubrey tried not to pay attention to the fact that she’d just picked up a handful of colorful and lacy bras. “I pity the students who had to sit in them, but you can’t pass up free.” She finished clearing off her bed and opened the closet to set the basket on the floor inside.

“No, I suppose not.” Aubrey mused, looking over the bookshelves which were filled with thick books on medicine, chemistry and genetics and some worn looking paperbacks in what looked to be an eclectic mix of horror, fantasy, thrillers and true crime. There were several framed pictures scattered amongst them and Aubrey found herself on her feet, moving closer to get a better look.

On the shelf at Stacie’s eye line there was a picture of a younger Stacie, probably in her early teens, with a beautiful older white haired woman. They both had their arms around each other’s waist and were smiling at the camera. Aubrey smiled in pure reaction to the happiness that practically radiated from the two of them. Leaning against the frame was a large heart shaped stone of what looked to be [rose quartz](https://www.healingcrystals.com/Rose_Quartz_Articles_63.html).

“That’s my Gran on my dad’s side.” Stacie said from behind her and Aubrey looked over her shoulder. Stacie smiled as she put down some sleep clothes. “Hope you don’t mind wearing my clothes. I didn’t think the pj situation through when I offered. The sleep pants may be a little long though.”

“It’s fine.” Aubrey smiled at her and looked back at the picture. “She looks kind.”

“She was.” Aubrey heard the faintest creak of the bed as Stacie sat down next to her. “She passed away two years ago,” she said sadly. “I used to visit her for a month every summer.”

“Oh, Stacie. I’m sorry.” Aubrey half turned and put her right hand on Stacie’s shoulder.

“It’s okay. She had a great life.” She looked up at the picture and smiled gently. “Maybe I’ll tell you some of her stories someday.”

“I’d like that.” Aubrey reached out and touched the stone with her fingertips. “This is beautiful too.”

“That was Gran’s. She swore it would bring you your true heart’s desire if you slept with it and dream of the person you love.”

Aubrey smiled at the picture again. “That’s a wonderful idea.”

“Oh it’s absolutely true.”

Aubrey turned again at the conviction in Stacie’s voice. “You, Science Brain, believe in that?” She grinned to show she was just teasing.

“With every neuron.” Stacie grinned back at her. “Gran slept with it under her pillow every night after she met Grandpa Conrad. He used to come into the store where she worked and was actually already engaged to someone else; the wedding was three months away.” She looked at the picture and her expression softened. “She didn’t do anything unseemly, never pursued him or asked him to leave his fiancé, but gradually, he fell in love with her and called the wedding off.”

Aubrey felt the romance of it sweeping through her, blaming the alcohol for the wistful tendril that twisted through her. “That sounds… like a movie.”

“Right? I always used to feel for the other woman – just a little bit. But it turned out she was a real bitch. She got married to someone else a year or so later and made his life a living hell.” Stacie laughed. “Gran always said it was meant to be because it brought me into the world and I was her favorite granddaughter. Of course, I was her only granddaughter, but it still meant the world to me.”

“But still, the stone…” Aubrey started but Stacie nodded.

“Me too, at first. But then she told me that she gave it to my dad, **the** biggest nerd in the entire school when he was younger. He never believed either, but then he saw my mom.” She nodded at a second picture on the same shelf, obviously of Stacie’s mother and father, and Aubrey realized how similar the three women looked. She could see the maturity that would settle over Stacie on her mother’s face and the graceful aging in her grandmother’s. She had definitely inherited the best of both sides of her family and Aubrey wistfully thought that Stacie was just going to grow more beautiful as the years went by.

“And he put it under his pillow?” Aubrey studied his face and could see Stacie in him as well, in the line of his jaw and the twinkle of mischief in eyes the same emerald as his daughter; like he was on the edge of telling some wonderful joke and couldn’t wait to share it.

“Yup. She was the prettiest girl in high school and they started dating his junior year and were married by the time they were twenty.” Stacie shrugged when Aubrey looked at her. “So I believe in the power of the stone.”

“Have you ever slept with it under your pillow?” Aubrey asked without thinking.

After a moment of silence, in which Aubrey began to panic as she realized what she was asking and what it could be construed she was hinting at, Stacie said slowly, “No. I haven’t… I don’t… I’m not sure that’s in the cards for me.”

Aubrey couldn’t decide if she was the slightest bit disappointed or relieved, but she soldiered on. “I’m sure one day you’ll meet someone that will change your mind.”

“Eh.” Stacie shrugged again. “I never say never, but the idea of belonging to someone has never felt right for me.”

“Not me.” Aubrey grinned sheepishly. “I had that whole cliché thing growing up; picket fence and all.”

“Do you have a binder with all your ideal wedding details?” Stacie leaned back on her elbows. “My cousin had three of them by the time she was sixteen.”

Aubrey laughed. “I may have had one.” It was her turn to shrug. “I left it at home as I hadn’t really updated it since my junior year of high school.”

“Oh? What changed?”

Aubrey’s mouth opened and then she shut it again. That was the year she’d started to question if the partner she was picturing was a man or a woman and the confusion had been too much. ‘ _Though, now that I’m thinking of it, my idea of a tall, dark and handsome man could easily translate to a tall, dark and beautiful woman.’_

“Sorry, didn’t mean to pry.” Stacie sat up again when Aubrey remained silent. “I was just… making conversation.”

“It’s fine,” Aubrey said automatically, though it really wasn’t as now she couldn’t stop picturing Stacie in all the dreams she’d had as a young girl. _That_ wasn’t going to happen for many reasons that she immediately started to list in her head.

One:  It was inappropriate for Aubrey to get involved with someone under her command as Captain – she ignored the small voice in her mind that pointed out Chloe and Beca were in the same situation and Aubrey merely thought it was beautiful.

Two: Stacie was still younger, _and_ , she spoke over the tiny voice that started to interrupt even while wondering when she’d started having multiple voices in her head, the age difference _was_ larger than it was with the other two. And, despite it only being a single year difference, she wasn’t comfortable with it for reasons she couldn’t even explain to herself.

Three: Stacie had basically just said she was never going to settle down, that it wasn’t for her and Aubrey’s mind needed to just _stop._

“I guess I just grew out of it.” Aubrey looked back at the shelves as they were safer than staring into apologetic green eyes. “I’m sure I’ll get married eventually, but it became less important over time.”

“I think you’ll make someone an excellent wife one day.” Stacie offered.

Instead of answering, Aubrey picked up the double picture frame the next shelf down. “And this is you and… your brother?” He couldn’t be anything else as he had Stacie’s jawline and nose. Since he was looking out from under the hood of a car in the first picture, the light wasn’t right to see if their eyes were the same shade, but they definitely had the same shape.

“Yup. Derek. He’s the one who taught me to pick locks.” The affection she had for her brother shone through as she spoke. “And how to boost cars.”

“What?” Aubrey studied the other picture of brother and sister, both trying to drown each other in a clear pool. “We’ve got _another_ felon in the Bellas?” She carefully put the frame down and turned to sit in the chair once more.

“Never got caught, thank you very much. No jail time for me, unlike Beca.” Stacie said crisply before laughing. “Though I am glad Carolina University dropped the charges against her.”

“Me too. I wasn’t sure what would happen to the Bellas if one of us was convicted of vandalism.” Aubrey had been relieved to hear that there _were_ cameras in the Performing Arts Center and after review, despite the fact that Beca had hauled off and punched a guy – something that Aubrey still found amusing – it was an accident as she tried to keep Amy from doing something different. And that Tonehanger hadn’t wanted to press charges either, so Beca’s record was clear. “But boosting cars? How did you not get caught?”

“We’d just take it for a joyride. We always returned it, just… maybe with enough gas to only get to the station.” Stacie sighed. “I know it was stupid but… he’s my older brother and I love him. I loved spending time with him.”

“I know the feeling,” Aubrey said, studying the picture once more.  “But how does one even learn that?” She turned back and was amused when Stacie’s eyes widened, obviously having expected Aubrey to maybe freak out at the – admittedly minor but still criminal – antics of her younger self. While she didn’t necessarily like it, she wasn’t above reproach herself; she and her brothers had pulled pranks that had skirted the line a few times. They hadn’t gone over it, but she could understand the sometimes heady exhilaration that could make the line a little blurry.

“He’s five years older than me. Ended up with a bad crowd for a while. So while he did maybe steal some cars to take to chop shops, that was all he did. He was lucky; he got out before they expanded into anything larger and did it on good terms. He said he wanted to be better, help out around the house and with bills when Dad got sick.”

“Oh no,” Aubrey began but Stacie waved her off.

“No no, he just got a really bad infection that put him in the hospital for a while. He’s fine.” She sighed. “A long while. So Derek got a job at as a mechanic – a legit one – and now that little shit just got a business loan to buy out his old boss and take over. He plans on marrying his girlfriend next year.” She chuckled. “I’m so proud of him.”

“That’s wonderful!”

“I once offered to give him Gran’s stone, but he told me he’d spank me if I did.” Stacie looked up at the top picture again. “Said she gave it to **me** , that she knew I’d want it one day, despite my rebellious streak, and to save it until that day happened.”

“She sounds strong willed. Seems she passed it down.” Aubrey grinned when Stacie stuck out her tongue.

“Anyway,” Stacie pushed herself off the bed. “I’ve got a spare toothbrush somewhere, if you want to go wash your face and stuff before we crash.”

“Oh, yes please.” Aubrey said, the taste of cheap beer suddenly all she could focus on. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Stacie grabbed a small bag and unlocked the door again. “After you.”

The hallway was mostly silent as they walked down to the bathrooms at the end. There were some rooms that held the murmur of voices or faint music, but they didn’t talk much as they completed their pre-bed rituals of make-up removal, face washing and teeth brushing. Aubrey found the sense of peace the simple actions gave her soothed any worries she had about this unexpected end to her night. Obviously the two of them could spend time together, the mutual study sessions-slash-dinner nights had proven that. But Aubrey hadn’t been sure how they would interact, alone, without books between them.

When they got back to the room, Stacie picked up one set of clothes. “You stay here; I’ll go back and change in the bathroom.”

“Don’t be silly.” Aubrey shook her head. “We can change in the same room, we’re both adults.” It had been a slow shift in her head, but she was getting there. Stacie _had_ turned eighteen over three months ago and she _was_ more mature than half the seniors in Aubrey’s classes. “I trust you to not look.” But it was still inappropriate for anything… more.

“I’d never.” Stacie said as she turned her back, looking once over her shoulder and obviously unable to help herself. “Not unless you ask.”

Rolling her eyes Aubrey turned her own back and undressed efficiently, pulling on the soft sleep pants and shirt Stacie had laid out for her. “Alright.”

“Me too.”

Aubrey turned around as Stacie started pulling out blankets from the shelf in the closet. “Are you cold?” She sat on the edge of the bed and began to roll up the extra fabric in the pant legs.

“No, but that floor is hard so I want two of these under me.” She set one on the bed and started to unfold the other.

“What are you talking about?” Aubrey watched, confused.

“We can’t really sleep in Jenn’s bed, she’d kill me.” Stacie nodded at the other neatly made bed. “So you get mine and I’ll take the floor.”

Aubrey froze, trapped between the immediate denial on her lips that Stacie didn’t have to sleep on the floor and the underlying knowledge of what was likely to happen if she said it. “Stacie, I can’t take your bed... I’ll sleep on the flo-”

“No way. I invited you back instead of letting you sleep in your very comfortable bed, so it’s my job to sleep on the floor.”

“I didn’t have to say yes, even though I’m pretty positive I know how the two of them are going to be spending the night and I’d rather not sleep with ear plugs.” Which she definitely would have – had even gotten used to doing on occasion. Sometimes it was… easier, than drowning out what she knew was going on down the hall with music. Or the guilt of what happened when she _didn’t_ block the sounds that drifted through the walls. ‘ _That is **not** what you should be thinking of right now, Aubrey_.’ She took a subtle deep breath.

“It’s about time,” Stacie said distractedly as she unfurled the blanket between the two beds. “Their UST was killing me.” She knelt and smoothed out some of the wrinkles in the fabric.

“UST?” Aubrey frowned. “I feel I should know what that is.”

“Unresolved sexual tension.” Stacie flashed a grin and Aubrey laughed.

“Right, I knew that sounded familiar.” She worried her lip between her teeth as Stacie reached for the other blanket. “Just… Stop.” Stacie looked up at her. “You… You don’t have to sleep on the floor.” She didn’t know if it was the alcohol still in her system or something else, but she couldn’t stand the thought of Stacie sleeping on the floor. She told herself it was just being considerate of someone while the tiny voice in the back of her mind snorted at her.

“But…” Stacie studied her carefully. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, Aubrey.”

With a confidence she didn’t feel, Aubrey shrugged. “I don’t. I swear.” She pursed her lips. “While I haven’t had a sleepover since middle school, I have shared beds with my childhood friends.”

Stacie leaned back on her heels. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Aubrey looked at the bed again. “At least your bed is a full and not a twin like… Jenn’s?”

“Yeah.” Stacie slowly got to her feet, bringing the blanket with her. “I need the extra room for my long ass legs.” She began to refold the blanket.

Aubrey forced herself not to admire said limbs as Stacie put both blankets in the closet. “I can see that being important.”

“Inside or outside?” Stacie reached over and turned on the lamp near the door, more a night light to keep from kicking furniture if one had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and turned off the overhead light.

“Inside.” Aubrey really didn’t have a preference but she was worried she’d try and hug the edge of the bed, afraid she’d reach out in her sleep, and didn’t want to fall off. ‘ _This is a bad idea, Aubrey. You’re buzzed, she’s gorgeous and you know she’s interested in you. And despite the lie you tell yourself weekly, you’re attracted to her.’_ She pulled back the comforter and slid to the far side, trying desperately to keep herself from remembering the things she’d thought of over spring break. The choice of words didn’t help as she suddenly imagined saying it for a _very_ different reason. She forced herself to relax as Stacie laid down beside her, each rustle of the covers sounding both loud in the quiet room yet barely audible under the steadily increasing beat of her heart.

“Night, Aubrey.” Stacie rolled her head and looked at Aubrey in the dim light. “If you need to get up for anything, just push me off the edge.” She smiled as Aubrey laughed despite her internal panic.

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary. I’m usually a pretty sound sleeper.”

“Wait – do you snore?” Stacie rolled on her side. “Because I don’t know what I was thinking not asking you that before. Maybe I should text Chloe, because everyone answers ‘no’ to that question and can’t be trusted.”

“I do not snore!” Aubrey said indignantly.

“Does that mean if you _do_ snore, I have permission to record it to prove it?” There was a flash of white as Stacie smiled again.

“I…. that…” Aubrey rolled her eyes. “That is the weirdest question I have ever been asked.”

“Really?” Stacie’s eyes darted between hers. “I’ll have to see what else I can ask you because that’s not that weird.”

“Recording someone in their sleep _is_ weird.” Aubrey rolled onto her right side, her hands under Stacie’s pillow, unwillingly reminded of the rose quartz heart on the shelf beside them.

“You still haven’t answered though.” Stacie pointed out.

With an overly exaggerated sigh, Aubrey said, “Fine. If I snore, you can record me. But I _don’t_ snore so you won’t get the chance to be weird.”

“Guess we’ll know in the morning.” Stacie said lightly, lifting one shoulder.

“Mm.” Aubrey agreed, idly letting her eyes trace Stacie’s face until she got to generous lips where they got stuck. Maybe it was the alcohol, though most of it had burned away during the walk and the discussion of family, but all Aubrey could think of was how they would feel pressed against her own.

‘ _You know what they feel like_.’ Her brain prodded her. ‘ _You’ve had the impression of them in the back of your mind since Christmas_.’ She licked her lips to wet them, unsurprised when seconds later, almost unconsciously, Stacie did the same.

The mistletoe kiss had not been anything that Aubrey had expected. She had hoped to get it over quickly, but Stacie had anticipated her and cupped the back of her head, keeping her in place. It had been soft and gentle and halfway through Aubrey had briefly regretted making Stacie promise there would be no tongue.

One of the things she’d wondered most while in her bed over Spring Break was how it would be to **really** kiss Stacie Conrad.

And Aubrey could have blamed it on the alcohol, but when she tentatively slid her hand out and touched Stacie’s cheek, she knew that wasn’t it at all.

“Aubrey?” Stacie had frozen beneath her fingertips, her eyes rising from where they’d been looking at Aubrey’s mouth to meet hers.

Instead of answering right away, Aubrey reached up and ran one fingertip over the very corner of Stacie’s lips. Feeling the shiver through her hand as well as the bed, Aubrey quickly pulled back. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have… or asked first… or not done it at all.” She pushed herself backward. “I’ll go…”

“Aubrey.” Stacie said again, her own fingers wrapping around Aubrey’s wrist. “Aubrey. Just wait.” She didn’t try to hold Aubrey down or pull her closer, just held on gently. “It’s okay.” She licked her lips again and despite her worry, at those two words Aubrey found herself moving forward until they were almost touching. “I didn’t mind.” She slowly let go of Aubrey’s wrist. “I **don’t** mind.”

 _It’s okay_. Two simple words often used even when it _wasn’t_. But to Aubrey they were a key to a lock she didn’t know was there. She knew it was too fast, but Aubrey _believed_ Stacie and it calmed her. The pure, automatic acceptance of whatever she wanted to do or say was something she had never had before. It was… freeing.

Wondering if her pounding heart could be felt through the mattress, Aubrey touched Stacie’s cheek again. It was still light and hesitant, but she let herself do more, _feel_ more.

_It was just the alcohol._

She traced the strong jawline that she’d once wondered what it would be like to nibble.

Ran her thumb over Stacie’s bottom lip, feeling the shaky exhale of warm air across it.

Skimmed a perfect eyebrow before letting her fingers sink into soft dark tresses. She watched, fascinated, as Stacie’s eyes closed when Aubrey gently traced the shell of one ear.

She knew it wasn’t the alcohol when she closed that final distance between them and pressed her lips to Stacie’s.

They were as soft as she remembered and she was unable to stop herself from pulling the bottom one between her own. As Aubrey inhaled deeply through her nose, Stacie’s hand skimmed across her ribs before settling into the middle of her back, holding her close. Aubrey let her tongue brush against Stacie’s lip where it was suddenly met by Stacie’s as it swept past and into Aubrey’s mouth.

Aubrey gave in without hesitation and immediately surrendered control, allowing Stacie to lick into her mouth and gently guide her to her back. Stacie’s hair formed a curtain around them as she settled over Aubrey’s side, her hand resting on Aubrey’s hip. Aubrey’s right hand found its way to Stacie’s back while her left cradled the back of her neck. Arousal spread from her chest, white hot wires stretching and tugging along her spine and down to her center, her body contracting with sudden desire. It was strong enough that it scared her, made her pull away, her lips already kiss swollen.

“Stacie…” The curtain of hair blocked the light, but she could still make out Stacie’s features above her own. “We can’t… _I_ can’t…” Stacie lifted her hand from Aubrey’s hip and her skin felt cold without it.

Gently she brushed the hair from Aubrey’s eyes and tucked it behind her ear. “Aubrey, we don’t-”

Despite the fact that it was _her_ words that had started them down this path, Aubrey suddenly didn’t want Stacie to finish her thought. Didn’t want to hear the acceptance of her own rules, her own denials. She lifted her head and pulled Stacie down at the same time, kissing her more fiercely than the gentle exchange they had been doing until now, trying to drown out her own inner voice that was urging her to leave before it was too late. Her body lifted and strained, pushing into the lithe form above as they came together and parted.

Long minutes later, Stacie pulled away, her breath short and panting. “Aubrey.” She resisted when Aubrey tried to pull her down again, waiting until Aubrey stilled. “I don’t want anything from you that you aren’t willing to give.” She ran her thumb across Aubrey’s lower lip. “If this is all you’re comfortable with, then this is all that happens. If you want to lay down now and go to sleep, then that’s what we’ll do.”

Aubrey swallowed thickly, full of too many things to be able to focus on any one emotion: desire, fear, tenderness, loneliness, need, relief. “I…” Her mind went blank but Stacie radiated nothing but patience while Aubrey tried to sort out what she wanted from the way she thought things should be.

“Whatever it is, you can say it. It’s **okay**.” Stacie settled more on the bed than Aubrey’s side. “This room, this is a safe space… this is just for tonight, if you want. In the morning, once that door opens and we walk out… We can go back to Captain and Bella if that’s what you need.”

It was like Stacie could see through to the heart of her indecision. Aubrey _wanted_ to lose herself in Stacie; so much so that she refused to acknowledge the depth of it. Equally strong was her fear of the morning, the ‘what comes next’ that she couldn’t see because she was graduating in a few months and going to law school – though that had begun to feel less  important over the past year. And Stacie was staying. Aubrey didn’t have that same leap of faith that Chloe had with Beca, she could never let herself fall like that, not without a plan or a future she felt secure in.

Stacie had made no secret about the fact that she liked sex and wasn’t interested in seeing anyone; she liked to go on dates like Aubrey loved to make dinner. No, Aubrey didn’t think that Stacie slept with _everyone_ she went out with, but there was obviously some reason that Stacie never settled down with anyone. Even her own words earlier said that she didn’t think marriage and ‘the one’ were for her.

And deep down where Aubrey hid things from even herself, on a shelf next to memories of spin the bottle and listening to distant moans in the dark, was a feeling that was forming itself into a crystal heart made from rose quartz. If she dared pick it up, she’d have to face the fact that sometime over the past few months, she’d begun to fall for the maddeningly brilliant woman patiently waiting for her to decide what she wanted.

If she let herself feel **that** – and Stacie merely moved on to the next date, the next thrill – Aubrey didn’t think she could handle it. The past three years had been a series of random dates and even more infrequent hookups, though there had been a few people that her mother would invite over during the summers. She quickly realized that they were more interested in her family’s influence than they were her. They were never rude, never cruel – they were friendly and sometimes even fun. But it wasn’t love. It wasn’t anything that made her lips tingle, her body hum and her fingertips itch to trace the muscles in their arms; all the things that she had thought romantic love was made of when she was growing up.

They always parted on good terms, and eventually, Aubrey had stopped looking. She told herself she had time for all that once she’d graduated law school.

And now here she was. Lying in a bed in a dorm room.

Her lips tingled, practically aching with the need to lose herself again in Stacie’s kiss.

Her body hummed, more alive than it had been in over a year.

Her fingertips were already running up and down Stacie’s bicep.

Oh yes, Aubrey knew what she wanted, even if she was refusing to admit how deep it ran.

But could she let herself have it? Would giving into her need now outweigh the potential hurt when they parted in the morning as friends – because even before she’d hesitated, Aubrey had known that would be the outcome. Stacie obviously knew it as well. Was she okay with it because it’s what _Aubrey_ wanted or was she okay with it because, for her, this was merely physical? Aubrey shied away from that thought and the swift jab of unexpected pain it brought.

‘ _But isn’t that what you want_?’ The small voice in her mind whispered. ‘ _Or is this more than just a night for you?_ ’ Except it **couldn’t** be. She couldn’t _let_ it be more.

“That doesn’t seem fair to you.” Aubrey stilled her fingers. “That seems selfish and… I don’t want to be selfish anymore.”

“Don’t worry about me.” Stacie caressed Aubrey’s cheek. “I’m a big girl who knows what she’s getting into.”

‘ _Do I_?’ Aubrey couldn’t help but wonder even as she closed her eyes and turned her cheek into the touch.

“And if this is what you need… then tonight we’ll belong to each other.” Stacie leaned down and nibbled along Aubrey’s jaw, making her pulse dance. “And tomorrow… I won’t tell a soul what happened. If they ask, I slept on the floor.”

“I’ve never been with a woman,” Aubrey found herself blurting out. She blamed it on the fact that she was a coward who was going to take what she wanted on the terms Stacie had agreed to. No matter what Stacie said, it felt selfish and yet… Aubrey didn’t think she could stop herself from saying yes. But maybe by confessing something she’d been afraid to, she could fool herself into thinking she was leveling the playing field.

Because, oh yes. Aubrey _wanted_ Stacie.

“We can take it slow, if that’s what you want.” Stacie used her nose to lift Aubrey’s chin until she could press a kiss to her throat. “You can stop us at any time, for any reason.”

“Slow…” Aubrey’s breath hissed out when Stacie’s hand slid up and palmed her breast. Helpless to do anything else, she arched her back, pressing herself into the touch. “I’m good with slow.” Desire and need coiled in her stomach, rising faster as her resolve shattered. “For now.”

Stacie let out a chuckle that vibrated against Aubrey’s skin. “I like the sound of that.”

Softly, Aubrey said, “Stacie.” The other woman stilled, waiting. “Please… touch me.” It wasn’t the words that had originally risen to her tongue, but ‘ _make love to me’_ was too close to the truth she had buried. As Stacie suddenly let out a quiet groan and captured her in a deep kiss, Aubrey deliberately pushed away the last of her fear. She let herself get swept up in the rapids cascading through her body as clever fingers circled her nipple. She embraced the desire, letting it overwhelm everything, including the underlying deeper feeling that this was going to change everything.

With another low, desperately needful sound in the back of her throat, Stacie shifted until she was between Aubrey’s legs, never letting their lips part until Aubrey gasped at the feel of her. Her legs bent and tightened against Stacie’s hips as she settled, holding her in place, as Aubrey’s body gave a convulsive roll and she let out a soft moan of her own rising need.

Stacie kissed her again and Aubrey lost herself in it. The way Stacie kissed her now was so deep and powerful it made their prior kisses almost chaste in comparison. Knowing that Stacie had held back for her, to keep her from being overwhelmed or feeling pressured, made Aubrey feel… safe. That if she wanted to stop, Stacie would. That she was allowed to give and take without judgement or repercussions.

She wrapped her arms around Stacie’s back, her legs around her hips and the brunette’s head arched back with a soft groan. Aubrey couldn’t resist the long expanse of skin exposed to her and pulled herself up until she could trace her tongue along Stacie’s throat. They both let out matching moans and Stacie’s hips rocked ever so gently. Aubrey’s teeth accidentally scraped against skin as lightning shot through her. She froze for an instant, waiting for Stacie to pull back, but instead she dropped down and kissed Aubrey again with ever increasing fervor.

Aubrey didn’t know how much time had passed before Stacie pulled herself away again. “Aubrey… I want… Can I-?” She took a deep breath but shuddered on the exhale as Aubrey’s hands ran down her back to grip Stacie’s ass.

“Yes.” Aubrey pulled on Stacie’s bottom lip with her teeth even as the other woman chuckled.

“You don’t even know what I was going to ask.”

“Doesn’t matter.” And while it really didn’t, she knew Stacie would never ask something she thought Aubrey would be uncomfortable with. Aubrey couldn’t think of anything that she wasn’t willing to do in this single night she had granted herself. Her hands pulled the long body down against her and her own breath caught in her throat as Stacie’s hips gently rocked again.

With a last, deep, languid kiss that caused Aubrey’s toes to curl, Stacie pushed herself up to her knees, the covers falling back to pool behind her, smiling when Aubrey tried to pull her back down. Then her fingers slid underneath the hem of Aubrey’s borrowed shirt and she understood. Nodding before Stacie had a chance to hesitate, Aubrey lifted her torso off the bed, using her legs that had slipped from Stacie’s hips to wrap around her thighs as leverage.

With a slow gliding touch Stacie lifted the shirt from over her head and when Aubrey’s vision was free of the fabric, her breath caught in her throat. Sometime in the split second that her eyes had been blocked Stacie had shed her own shirt as well. Briefly Aubrey wondered how the hell she’d stripped it off so fast but the thought vanished from her mind when, despite her attempts not to stare, she found herself practically face to chest with a topless Stacie Conrad.

She was breathtaking… And she was looking down at Aubrey with eager anticipation.

For the first time in what felt like an hour, Aubrey felt her own inexperience make itself known. She’d never touched a breast that wasn’t on her own chest and the uncertainty of it made her hesitate. Rationally she knew bodies were bodies and what felt good to her was likely going to be welcome, but the uncertainty was difficult to shake.

Then her breath, which she hadn’t realized she was still holding, exploded out of her in a guttural groan as Stacie lowered herself back down. The warm, smooth skin sliding against her own felt like heaven, pushing away any lingering doubt away – for good, she hoped. Aubrey’s back arched, feeling her own nipples, already painfully tight, drag across Stacie’s. Her skin prickled with both a wash of heat and a shiver, her body so filled with arousal that it couldn’t decide how to react; her muscles wanted to contract and stretch, whichever would allow her to rub as much of herself against Stacie as possible. It was her turn to arch her head back and Stacie eagerly dipped her tongue into the hollow of Aubrey’s throat, making her eyes roll back behind closed lids.

“Pants next.” Stacie whispered in her ear and Aubrey wasn’t ashamed of the assenting whimper and nod she gave in response. Reluctantly she let her legs fall back to the bed and Stacie pushed herself up on her hands and knees. As she crawled backward, she lowered her head and let just the tip of her tongue trace from Aubrey’s neck, down between breasts that suddenly ached with the need to feel Stacie’s mouth on them, before finally lifting herself off the bed.

Her eyes on Aubrey’s, Stacie slid her own pajama bottoms and underwear down her legs, and Aubrey knew she’d stripped first to make Aubrey more comfortable. She tossed them on the other bed and turned back to once more slip gentle fingers under fabric and tug. Aubrey lifted her hips, trying to push away the awkward shyness that comes from being naked in front of someone for the first time. It was a little difficult when confronted with someone as graceful as Stacie was as she moved across the room.

“What’re you doing?” Aubrey asked, watching the lithe form go to the door. Stacie was all legs and Aubrey knew the muscles that lay under the smooth skin from yoga and ballet. The number of times she’d almost tripped over something walking into rehearsal and found Stacie doing a full upside down splits was embarrassing. To see her in all her naked glory was something Aubrey never thought she’d allow to happen and it was forever etched in her memory.

“Wanted to make sure I’d locked it.” Stacie reached out and gave the lock another twist. “Sometimes it doesn’t quite slide home.”

“Oh.” Aubrey said, at a loss for words when Stacie turned back around and walked toward the bed with an easy and almost liquid grace. She wanted to squirm when Stacie paused at the foot and gazed at her, but instead lay quietly as Stacie let her eyes roam.

“You’re beautiful, Aubrey.”

The sincerity in it caused the automatic denial to die on Aubrey’s lips. She knew she was attractive, yes, but no one had _really_ called her beautiful before. Not in the way Stacie just had. Shyly, she smiled. “I was just about to say the same thing.” She held out her hand. “Come back to bed?” Stacie smiled back at her, wide and full, blinding in its joyful beauty.

But instead of resuming her previous position, she lay down on her side, propping her head on her left hand to face Aubrey, who tried to turn onto her own side. “Wait.” Stacie put her hand between Aubrey’s breasts and kept her in place.

“You better not be about to ask me if I’m still okay.” Aubrey arched her eyebrow, clearly able to see the question in Stacie’s eyes.

Stacie chuckled softly. “They do say great minds think alike.” She grew serious again. “Aubrey…”

“Stacie.” Aubrey lifted her right arm from between them and brushed a thumb across Stacie’s mouth to quiet her. She let out a soft gasp as warm lips parted and pulled her thumb in to be gently sucked. Aubrey’s nipples felt like they pulsed as her brain easily transferred what that sensation would feel like to them. Unable to wait any longer, she used her left hand to pull Stacie’s hand to her left breast.

Immediately Stacie squeezed gently and Aubrey found herself arching into it again. Stacie’s hand rolled, each finger moving like a wave as her palm rose and fell, teasing Aubrey’s nipple with each motion. Aubrey left her hand on Stacie’s for a moment, feeling a shiver of excitement at the thought of both of them making her body feel so alive. Then Stacie’s mouth covered her other breast and Aubrey’s hands hit the bed to clutch at the sheets as they each moaned at the feel of the other.

The same wet warmth that had made her thumb tingle was magnified a thousand times as Stacie’s tongue circled her nipple. Aubrey cried out, not so softly this time, as the faint hint of teeth pressed into her skin and fingers pinched and tugged every so lightly. “Oh, _yes._ ” Stacie let out a hum of agreement, sucking softly as she did so and the vibration of it made Aubrey’s nerves sing all the way down to her center. She shifted her legs, flexing her thighs as her body coiled tighter with each passing second and flick of tongue.

Stacie’s right hand moved down, trailing over stomach muscles that twitched at her touch, curved over to grip her hip. Where her breast felt cold at the loss of it, Stacie’s fingers left trails of fire, sparks swirling and gathering as nails scraped gently where thigh met hip, until finally, _finally,_ she slid her hand down and cupped between Aubrey’s legs. That same rolling motion made Aubrey cry out again, this time with need at Stacie so close to where Aubrey desperately wanted her.

With a soft sound Stacie lifted her head and before Aubrey could protest, Stacie had captured her mouth as her long middle finger slid the entire length of her center. Aubrey’s cry was muffled as Stacie kissed her, her tongue stroking in time with her finger and Aubrey felt herself rushing faster toward her climax, it having been far too long since anyone, even herself, had touched her there. Stacie curled closer against her, Aubrey’s left leg bending and parting, trying to give her more room as her hips rocked.

“Stacie, please.” Aubrey begged in the moments that their lips parted and came back together. But Stacie took her time, stroking and teasing, as Aubrey whimpered into her mouth with each touch. She let her fingers trace every fold, circle Aubrey’s clit but never the pressure that would bring her relief from the tension turning her veins to molten fire.

Just as Aubrey was opening her mouth to beg again, Stacie slid two fingers gently inside her and instead of the ‘please’ that had been on her lips, something entirely different came out. “Oh, _fuck_!” Stacie’s fingers flexed within her, curling high and deep and it was pulled from her again. “ **Fuck** … Stacie… _unh_.” Whatever else that she’d been about to say was lost as Stacie pulled out and slid back in again, her palm firmly rubbing against Aubrey’s clit.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before.” Stacie murmured as she shifted. Aubrey moved her right hand, which had been trapped between them, behind her to clutch at Stacie’s back.

“I save it… for special… occasions,” Aubrey said brokenly, her body rolling against Stacie’s. “More of an impact.” She moaned as Stacie pressed deep inside and twisted her fingers. “ ** _Fuck!_** ”

“Mm, I have to admit,” Stacie kept her left forearm planted by Aubrey’s shoulder, but her body covered more of Aubrey’s, her legs tangling with Aubrey’s right. “It’s really fucking hot, Bree.” With every deep and powerful stroke of her hand, Stacie slid upward, thrusting her entire body against Aubrey’s as she rose above her.

Aubrey’s heart gave a lurch as she realized that Stacie’s whimpers held as much need and desperation as her own. It was an overwhelming feeling, to know that someone wanted her that badly, even if it was just for a night – she stopped the thought before it got any further, determined once and for all to give herself over to her desires and stop worrying about the morning. Or at least most of her desires. There were words that were forming behind a locked door in her heart and those she could never let out.

“You feel so good, Bree.” Stacie panted into her ear, surging upward and Aubrey cried out her name. “Jesus, I love hearing you say my name like that.” She dropped her forehead to Aubrey’s shoulder and thrust again. “You’re so fucking sexy.” She licked the hollow of Aubrey’s straining neck. “I can’t wait to hear what you sound like when you come.” She let her lips wander from breast to neck to lips, straying upward to tug on an earlobe and back down. The room filled with the sounds of their quickening breaths and not so quiet cries.

“Faster,” Aubrey found herself saying. “Oh, fu-” she broke off with a grunt as her body jerked, her hips rising fast and hard to meet Stacie. “ _Faster_. **_Please_** … oh god, I… need…”

If she’d had the ability to think she’d have wondered at her own boldness; she’d never been _passive_ about sex but she’d also never really had a preference for _how_ she liked to have it. Most of the men in her life had been attentive to her needs and it had been exciting. She’d never felt unsatisfied and had enjoyed sex with them, but none of them had made her feel like her body was on fire or there wasn’t enough air in her lungs. None of them made her want to scream with the need for release while simultaneously wanting it to never end. Later she would have time to wonder if it was because women were different.

Or if _Stacie_ was different.

Stacie’s whole body was moving and grinding, both of them beginning to bead with sweat as they strained together; ever faster even when Aubrey’s urgings devolved into wordless cries. Aubrey’s body coiled, tightening deep in her belly until with one final push, Stacie added a third finger and used her palm to circle against Aubrey’s clit with just the right amount of pressure to release her like a tightly wound spring straight into the atmosphere.

Her body went rigid as she clamped down around Stacie’s fingers, feeling herself spasm around them as they continued to flex within her. Stacie’s lips had once more covered her nipple as Aubrey’s back bowed off the bed, her tongue lazily stroking and teasing. With a shuddering moan Aubrey let herself relax, her body still quaking with aftershocks, until she rested on the bed.

As she slowly quieted, Stacie’s lips pressed a final kiss to her breast before making a path to Aubrey’s neck and higher, taking her newly regained breath away with a kiss. Finally she pulled her hand away with a sigh that Aubrey echoed.

“I don’t know how, but you’re even more beautiful now.” Stacie’s eyes were dark and serious as they met Aubrey’s.

Aubrey chuckled weakly. “Flushed and out of breath?”

“Maybe,” Stacie said quietly and brushed strands of hair from Aubrey’s face before resting her hand between Aubrey’s breasts. “I like seeing this side of you – no, not the naked.” One corner of her mouth twitched up. “Well, not _just_ the naked.” Her fingertips lifted to stroke Aubrey’s cheek. “You’re just… Aubrey.”

It was out before she could stop it. “Is that bad?” She’d been so awful all year and how anyone could ever forgive her…

“No.” Stacie answered immediately, the sincerity in it quieting Aubrey’s internal rant before she could get too far into her own head. “It’s…” She hesitated. “I was going to say that you were special – and you are – but I guess it really makes me feel like _I_ am. Because you let me see the real you. And I get the feeling you don’t let a lot of people in.”

“Just Chloe.” Aubrey said softly as her fingertips stroked against Stacie’s spine. “Until now.” Stacie was wrong though and Aubrey was lying just the smallest bit. There was still one thing she was keeping hidden. A truth that she couldn’t let Stacie see and one she barely kept from speaking while Stacie had gloriously pulled her apart piece by piece.

“Thank you.” Stacie kissed her gently. “For trusting me.”

Aubrey forced the threatening melancholy away with a husky chuckle. “I think it’s me who should be thanking you.” She stretched contentedly, feeling the way Stacie pressed back against her. “I just hope I can do it properly without having had prior…” She pursed her lips as she thought. “Hands on experience.”

“If you try to tell me you’ve never touched yourself…” Stacie began then jumped as Aubrey poked her in the side.

“That’s different.” Aubrey ran her hand down the arm that was still resting across her chest. “You are a whole lot of woman, Stacie Conrad.”

“So you’re telling me Aubrey Posen is intimidated?” Stacie teased.

“A Posen is **never** intimidated.” Aubrey said haughtily then squealed when Stacie tickled her side.

“Holy shit, you’re ticklish?” Stacie pushed up on her left arm and smiled like she’d just been told she discovered a new element.

“No!” Aubrey said but it was too late, Stacie’s hand was already skating across her ribs. “Stacie!” Aubrey batted at her hand, trying to push it away even as the fingers that had just brought her so much pleasure now brought laughing torture.

What followed was a short but intense tickle fight in which Aubrey finally found Stacie’s own weak spot high up on her ribs. By the end of it both of them were breathless again from laughter and Stacie was lying underneath a determined Aubrey who had launched a methodical attack that would have made her brothers proud.

“Uncle!” Stacie finally let her hands drop to the bed. “I surrender!”

“Ha! I love winning!” Aubrey said gleefully as she leaned down and kissed Stacie, who wrapped her arms around Aubrey’s neck and pulled her closer. It was only then that she realized that she was straddling Stacie’s hips with her hands braced on either side of her torso. And that there was still so much more that she wanted to do. Almost as if she read her mind, Stacie pulled back slightly.

“You don’t have to…” She broke off with a hiss when Aubrey tugged at her bottom lip again.

“Oh, I want to.” Aubrey thought that ‘want’ was too simple a word for what she was feeling. Because she was there and could, Aubrey slid herself against Stacie, humming in contentment against Stacie’s lips as she kissed her again. Now that her own tension had been relieved – at least temporarily – she could feel the way Stacie’s body moved restlessly against her own, hear the small whimpers with every brush of their breasts against each other. “If that’s okay?”

It felt silly to ask after everything that had just happened, but Aubrey had to be sure she was allowed. Had to be sure she could give in to her rapidly growing desire to have all of Stacie as often as possible before the sun came up… or they passed out from sheer exhaustion. ‘ _Or both_ ,’ she couldn’t help thinking as their bodies came together again.

“Oh, yes please.” It was more a prayer than permission and Aubrey felt Stacie’s complete surrender in it.

“So polite.” Sitting upright Aubrey smiled at the way Stacie tried to follow after; she pushed lightly until Stacie settled on her back, her hands falling to Aubrey’s thighs. Aubrey let her eyes wander, more boldly than she had earlier; no sense in being shy when she’d just had the strongest orgasm of her life. Then she let her fingertips trace the same path.

Starting at Stacie’s face she let her fingertips trace either side of her jaw, down along her neck and the width of her shoulders. Aubrey watched, fascinated, as goosebumps followed her path as she continued down her arms to where her hands rested on Aubrey’s thighs. “Cold?” Aubrey couldn’t help teasing when the hair on Stacie’s arms rose in her wake.

“I wouldn’t say that.” Stacie’s fingers flexed where they lay as Aubrey’s own traced them.

Aubrey smirked and looked at Stacie’s breasts where her nipples were standing proudly. “You sure?” Her mouth had gone dry and she licked her lips to wet them, already anticipating her next plan of attack.

“I could never be cold when you look at me like that.” Stacie took a slow breath and Aubrey watched the rise and fall of her chest before looking up to meet her eyes.

“You’re breathtaking.” Aubrey admitted her earlier thought and then flushed. “That sounded way cheesier when said out loud.” She closed her eyes and shook her head.

Stacie drummed her fingers on Aubrey’s legs to get her attention. “That’s actually the most sincere thing anyone has ever said to me.” She squeezed gently. “Thank you.”

Instead of answering Aubrey leaned down and kissed her, wondering at the back of her mind what kind of people Stacie had spent her time with. She couldn’t imagine not telling Stacie she was beautiful and meaning it with every fiber of her being. Daily. Realizing she was skirting too close to her own denied feelings, Aubrey pushed herself up again.

Determined to make them both forget about anything else for the rest of the night, Aubrey’s hands curved around Stacie’s sides, her thumbs stroking along her ribs. She smiled as Stacie squirmed under her. “Don’t worry. I won’t start another tickle fight.”

“I don’t know that I believe you,” Stacie eyed her narrowly, one eyebrow arched.

“Mmm.” Aubrey slid her hands up until they rested against the underside of Stacie’s breasts. “Guess I’ll just have to convince you.” But instead of caressing them right away as Stacie obviously thought by her quick inhale, Aubrey spread her hands across Stacie’s stomach, feeling the muscles trembling under her. Slowly, torturing them both, she slowly skimmed them up until they covered each generous breast, the nipple a new and entirely addicting sensation in her palms. Stacie whimpered and bit her lip as Aubrey copied the rolling motion Stacie had done earlier, clumsily at first then with growing confidence as Stacie arched into her.

“Bree,” Stacie sighed, her head rolling on the pillow as Aubrey’s fingers circled and her thumbs ran over nipples that felt painfully hard.

The sound tugged at Aubrey, pulling her down until she had to brace her right hand on the bed to hover over Stacie. Ignoring the nervous tension in her stomach she took Stacie’s left nipple in her mouth, unable to hold back her moan of appreciation at the first feel of soft velvet against her tongue. She felt Stacie’s sharp cry through her lips as well as hearing it fill the room as her nervous fears slowly drained away; with each sound she pulled from Stacie’s lips she learned how to make each one stronger than the last.

She’d started out with the memory of what Stacie had done to her, but soon she was trying her own mix of tongue and teeth as her fingers continued to circle and tease. Stacie’s hands found their way into her hair as Aubrey shifted, bracing with her left hand as she swapped places with mouth and fingers until Stacie began to beg.

“Bree, please…” She hissed as Aubrey tugged with her teeth. “Or keep doing that.” Aubrey hummed against the nipple in her mouth and Stacie twitched under her. “I was wrong, keep doing _that._ ” Her body rolled under Aubrey, pressing up into her still sensitive center.

Smiling, Aubrey lifted her head and kissed Stacie, licking deeply into her mouth with deliberate slowness. “I think I’m getting the hang of this.”

“If you hadn’t told me,” Stacie panted out as Aubrey sat back again. “I’d have never known you...” She trailed off when Aubrey lightly scratched her nails down Stacie’s sides.

“Were a lesbian virgin?” Aubrey smiled at Stacie’s surprised chuckle. “You’re a great teacher.” She rose to her hands and knees, feeling Stacie’s eyes on her as she shuffled backward and placed one knee between Stacie’s. With a soft pat to the outside of Stacie’s thigh, Aubrey waited until they widened enough that she could fit between them.

Moving backward to give herself room, Aubrey stopped abruptly as her feet reached the end of the bed. Thinking quickly, discarding the ideas of hanging off the bed or kneeling on the floor, as well as that of trying to contort herself to stay on the mattress, Aubrey pulled her legs under her. It wasn’t quite Child’s pose but it kept her legs tucked enough that she could stay on the bed and remain comfortable.

_‘Thank you, yoga class.’_

New though this position was, it felt completely natural as she slid her arms under Stacie’s legs and leaned forward to blow a gentle breath across her center. Stacie’s breath hitched in her throat and her legs widened even further.

“Aub…” Stacie broke in the middle as Aubrey leaned forward and gave a single, firm lick across her clit. “ _Fuck_!”

It shocked her how wet Stacie was, though it shouldn’t have because it matched her own arousal. Somewhere in the back of her mind she supposed she found it shocking that it was because of _her_. Guys were easy, they were almost always turned on at the merest hint of sex. Women – or at least she, Chloe and the few friends she’d had discussions about sex with – usually took a bit more to get in the mood. To know that she had that effect on Stacie, as evidenced by the desire clearly visible on her thighs, really, _really_ , did a lot for Aubrey.

Filled with an almost giddy confidence, Aubrey looked up the line of Stacie’s body. “That _is_ the goal.” She let out a husky chuckle as Stacie’s eyes flew open and met her own with a mixture of startled amusement and hunger.

Unable to quite be bold enough to watch Stacie as she did so, Aubrey dropped her gaze and leaned forward again. Despite having never even tasted herself, Aubrey didn’t feel the slightest bit awkward or hesitant as she slowly began to trace delicate folds with her tongue, learning new sounds and ways to make Stacie cry out or lose the power of speech altogether. She knew what she wanted and learning Stacie’s body and what made her twitch… was everything.

Aubrey felt herself shiver with need; hearing those low moans and sharp gasps was headier than any wine she had ever drunk in her life. It ran down her spine like quicksilver, leaving fire and sparks in its wake as Stacie’s hips rose to meet her.

 

* * *

 

~S~

When Stacie had invited Aubrey back to her room to sleep, she’d never expected her offer to be taken.

She’d meant it, had already made the decision to sleep on the floor when she had, but she’d expected Aubrey to turn her down. Except obviously Aubrey could see what she could: Beca and Chloe were quite likely to consummate their relationship that night.

Which, Stacie thought, was about time because sometimes watching the two of them together was like having an itch she couldn’t scratch. There were all these heart eyes and lingering touches and the need to be together practically rose off them in visible waves. It was absolutely adorable and their already deep bond made Stacie happy. But the sexual tension was _killing_ her. The fact that it gave her ammunition to tease Beca with was the only thing that made it bearable.

Still, she was surprised when Aubrey looked like she was considering it, one hand idly rubbing her throat in a way that struck Stacie as familiar, and outright shocked when Aubrey let her take that hand and tug her toward the dorms. And she really liked it when, just because, she linked their fingers together and Aubrey’s thumb brushed against her skin.

Ever since Aubrey had found her in the library and insisted on making her dinner, the two of them had had a very… confusing dynamic.

Though, as they walked back to her room, she’d realized it had gone back further than that. When Stacie had walked on stage at auditions, she’d seen the familiar spark in Aubrey’s eyes where she and Chloe sat in the front row. Aubrey had later tried to say it was because Stacie fit the image she’d been trying to maintain for the Bellas, but Stacie knew better, having seen the same look all her life.

So she’d been confused when instead of the usual flirtatious banter that followed such things, Aubrey instead did the exact opposite and rarely looked at her that first day, except when she was gauging Stacie’s strengths as a dancer.

Also, of course, except for that whole lecture on not sleeping with the Trebles in their first practice. Which, despite her insistence that it’d be difficult, Stacie had never done. A fact that confused because she’d never let anyone dictate what she could and couldn’t do before.

Then that first dinner at the house had happened and they’d settled into a routine that had been comfortable despite being unfamiliar in its… domesticity. Stacie would show up, all her books in two bags slung over her shoulders, and Aubrey would begin making dinner, her own books already spread across one of the counters. They would discuss their classes or hobbies, past Bellas and their routines. She’d even heard a little bit about Alice, the prior captain, and had decided that the woman was an insufferable bitch. It had helped give a little insight into the way Aubrey was in practice, which was completely different than when the two of them were alone… which was _also_ different when they were in the house with anyone else.

Sometimes Chloe joined them and Aubrey actually grew a little less uptight, but then if the other girls joined them Aubrey was a little more standoffish. She hadn’t put it into the terms Beca had, but she’d definitely noticed the two sides to Aubrey over the past six months.

But instead of letting it push her away, Stacie had been even more intrigued.

It may have been egotistical, but she’d never had anyone show an attraction to her and not act on it. It made her want to know why; want to figure out what was going on behind those green eyes. Not because she couldn’t stand the thought of someone not wanting her, or she had to go chasing after such a person to prove anything. But she found she was still drawn to Aubrey despite the lack of encouragement to her attentions.

It hadn’t surprised her all that much when, before her birthday, she’d walked into practice just as Aubrey was saying “… she’s not eighteen, Chloe. So please, just… drop it.” The two women in the center of the room had looked up as the door closed and while Chloe had smiled at her, Aubrey had flushed and begun to dig into her bag. It had been said in a flat monotone, like something often repeated, but the way she said ‘drop it’ had a note that Stacie couldn’t place; the closest she could come to was sadness but on reflection it seemed more resigned than anything. Stacie had deliberately made a show of removing her headphones even though she’d shut off her music before walking in and she’d seen the relief in Aubrey’s eyes when she thought she hadn’t been overheard.

After that, Stacie had changed how she interacted with Aubrey. She would still make half (sometimes full) innuendos, such as during the Christmas party, but when they were alone, she never – okay… _rarely_ – did or said anything to make Aubrey uncomfortable. Stacie still wanted Aubrey to know she was interested, because the more she got to know the Aubrey behind the Captain the more intrigued she was, but she didn’t want to drive her away. And as the year’s end grew closer, seemingly faster now that they were training against the clock, Stacie had decided that any chances they might’ve had were long gone.

Which was perfectly fine because no matter what, they were building a friendship that seemed to be as easy as the one she’d been creating with Beca and Chloe. With all of the girls, really, which was something that Stacie had never had before. And she found she liked it more than she ever thought she would.

Growing up, she’d never really been close to anyone. She’d had acquaintances, sure, but no one really _close_ , except her family and even that was mostly her brother or Gran. Then, when she got to high school, she was younger than the rest of the freshmen but looked their age, thanks to Nature’s generous donations to her figure. The combination of brains and boobs made some girls envious, some guys intimidated, but mostly it had garnered her a lot of attention from both that she was more than willing to embrace.

Stacie loved sex. She loved how it made her feel, how she could make them feel, and she wasn’t ashamed of it, no matter what was whispered about her in the bathrooms or behind her in the halls. None of them mattered because they didn’t know who she really was and half of them were just jealous of either her grades or the attentions she got.

She wasn’t looking to be tied to any one person, no matter the deeply romantic nature of her family and the crystal heart she kept close. Stacie believed in the power of it completely, her family history had convinced her, but she also knew it wasn’t for her. She had never felt like anything was missing or that she needed someone in her life to feel complete. She was content to go on dates, sometimes sleep with them, and move on. It kept life interesting and the next thrill was always around the corner.

Joining the Bellas had been a last minute decision because she loved to sing. She hadn’t really realized that it, customarily at least, was considered like a sorority with the whole sense of tradition and family that went with it. And, despite her general indifference to making friends, it had happened. First with Chloe and being there for her before and after Spring Break, and then with Beca…

Though, that wasn’t even true. Aubrey had been first, with her deeply exasperated “ _Come back to the house and I’ll make you dinner. Don’t even **think** about arguing with me, Stacie_.” And she hadn’t. She’d gathered her books and followed Aubrey back to the house where she’d eaten the best meal she’d had in years. A new tradition was born and eagerly looked forward to each week.

That was why she felt comfortable telling Aubrey about her Gran and the crystal, her brother and their prior criminal activities; both were stories she rarely told anyone but it had been **so** easy. That had been the point, really, where she thought Aubrey would lose her shit, no matter how much more relaxed she’d gotten since The Brawl after break. But Aubrey had surprised her and merely half- smiled when Stacie talked about boosting cars.

Still, when they’d washed up and it was time to change, she’d never thought twice about staying in the room. In her mind she was already making the trek back to the bathroom to give Aubrey space and it had surprised her when Aubrey told her to stay. It had given her a slight buzz that had nothing to do with the alcohol when they had turned their backs to change. Enough that when Aubrey said she trusted her to not look, Stacie couldn’t help making a small “Unless you ask” joke.

It was still in her mind that she was sleeping on the floor and this time when Aubrey stopped her, Stacie found she was in uncharted territory. She had never made any secret of the fact that she was interested in Aubrey, but it had become more important to her that Aubrey was comfortable. By now she knew how much the other woman hated to feel out of control and had, subconsciously at first, changed how she interacted to keep Aubrey from feeling that way.

So instead of the innuendo laden commentary she’d have said to anyone else, and after making sure Aubrey was certain, she had merely turned on a soft light to see by and slid into bed beside her. The banter that followed felt natural and easy and further soothed her that Aubrey was okay with the sleeping arrangements. She’d just been thinking of how beautiful Aubrey looked at that instant when the other woman had reached out and touched her cheek and then the corner of her mouth.

Stacie, her eyes locked on Aubrey’s mouth, had shivered in reaction only to be jolted out of it when Aubrey recoiled and backed away, apologies spilling out faster than she could complete them and it pushed Stacie into action.

“Aubrey,” Stacie said as she reached out and gently circled Aubrey’s wrist to get her attention. “Aubrey. Just wait. It’s okay. I didn’t mind.” She let go, not wanting Aubrey to feel trapped. “I **don’t** mind.” She kept her breath slow and even as Aubrey gently touched her jaw, though it shook when a soft fingertip ran across her lips.  She watched as Aubrey reached up and traced one of her eyebrows before combing through her hair and tracing her ear. That was when she closed her eyes, focused on keeping herself still, so she didn’t see Aubrey lean forward but felt the shift in the bed. The soft press of lips was familiar; it was something that had remained at the back of Stacie’s mind since Christmas, seldom actively thought of but always there.

That had been another thing that had been different – Stacie had, without any hesitation, caught most of the other Bellas under the mistletoe and gotten in a quick and thorough kiss from them. Aubrey, she knew, would not accept that, so the ‘no tongue’ rule had only made her smile. She had also known that Aubrey was going to try and pull away the second their lips touched, which is why she’d cupped the back of her head. And, going into it, Stacie had briefly had the thought of half breaking the rule and at least running her tongue along the outside of Aubrey’s lips; she was tipsy and Aubrey looked hot. But, instead, she’d kept it soft and light but it had… lingered… longer than she had planned.

Expecting something like that, even here and now, in her bed with the woman who had stopped running away, she’d been shocked for what felt like the millionth time that night when Aubrey immediately pulled Stacie’s lower lip into her mouth and sucked. Stacie had snaked her hand to Aubrey’s back and pulled her closer, settling their bodies together even as Aubrey’s tongue tentatively ran across her lips. Unable to stop herself, Stacie returned the kiss and deepened it, _finally_ at least partially giving in to the pent up desire that was waking up inside her. Aubrey had let herself be guided to back, kissing her slowly and thoroughly as their hands found anchors on each other’s bodies and Stacie settled over Aubrey’s side.

When Aubrey pulled back, Stacie could see the desire and fear warring in her eyes and it made everything in her turn soft and protective.

“Stacie… We can’t… _I_ can’t…”

She brushed at hair that had gotten a little messy from just the last few seconds and tucked it behind Aubrey’s ear. “Aubrey, we don’t…” But her words were lost when Aubrey kissed her again, almost like she was trying to stop Stacie from giving in to her fears. Stacie let herself get distracted by it, lost in Aubrey, before finally pulling back as she tried to catch her breath.

“Aubrey,” she said again, resisting her own desire to recapture kiss swollen lips as well as Aubrey’s attempts to tug her back down. “I don’t want anything from you that you aren’t willing to give.” She couldn’t help running her thumb over Aubrey’s lip, already intensely missing the feel of them against her own. “If this is all you’re comfortable with, then this is all that happens.” She’d happily spend the rest of the night kissing the woman in her bed. “If you want to lay down now and go to sleep, then that’s what we’ll do.” It would be the biggest case of blue balls, but if that’s what Aubrey needed, Stacie would do it, even if she didn’t understand why it was so important to her personally.

Aubrey swallowed, her eyes darting between Stacie’s and filled with too many things for her to sort them all out. “I…” She trailed off again, her mouth working soundlessly as she tried to find the words.

“Whatever it is, you can say it. It’s **okay**.” Stacie settled more to Aubrey’s side than on her. This was serious discussion time and she couldn’t let either of them be distracted because of things like no oxygen or bodies that wanted to slide together. Or the fact that Aubrey’s fingertips were tracing Stacie’s bicep and it made her entire arm tingle. “This room, this is a safe space… this is just for tonight, if you want. In the morning, once that door opens and we walk out… We can go back to Captain and Bella if that’s what you need.”

Aubrey watched her for a long time and Stacie wished she could hear the thoughts swirling through her eyes. “That doesn’t seem fair to you.” The light touch stilled. “That seems selfish and… I don’t want to be selfish anymore.” The quiet way Aubrey said it tugged at her.

“Don’t worry about me.” She brushed her knuckles across Aubrey’s cheek. “I’m a big girl who knows what she’s getting into.” Stacie could see that Aubrey wanted to give in, see it in the way her eyes closed at the touch and she turned her cheek into the caress. But she could also feel fear in the tension that simmered under the surface. “And if this is what you need…” She took a breath, trying not to let how much she wanted Aubrey show in her voice. “Then tonight we’ll belong to each other.” Not knowing if it was cheating or pushing or even allowed, she bent down to nibble the edge of Aubrey’s jaw, the defined line clear and irresistible with her head turned into Stacie’s hand. “And tomorrow… I won’t tell a soul what happened. If they ask, I slept on the floor.” She was great at keeping secrets; it was easy when you kept everyone at arm’s length.

“I’ve never been with a woman.” It came out rushed and Aubrey looked like she’d surprised herself by saying it out loud.

Stacie had speculated about that on and off over the school year, wondering if she’d been misreading all the signs and Aubrey wasn’t interested because she was straight. But there had been so many… _looks_ , however furtive or quick they had been. And that overheard conversation had seemed to indicate otherwise, but this… changed things a bit. It made Stacie feel a tenderness that was unusual for her. Not that she was only all aggressor or sultry vixen, but Aubrey was different… special… and it brought out something entirely different in Stacie. Something gentle and patient despite the almost painful longing that was beginning to make itself known.

“We can take it slow, if that’s what you want.” She nudged with her nose until Aubrey got the idea and lifted her head. Stacie placed a kiss against her throat, feeling the pulse pounding against her lips. “You can stop us at any time, for any reason.”

“Slow…” Aubrey began but Stacie slid her hand up and over one shirt clad breast and Aubrey’s breath hissed out. “I’m good with slow.” Stacie felt her own breathing quicken as Aubrey’s back arched and pressed her further into Stacie’s hand. “For now.”

Stacie chuckled against her throat. “I like the sound of that.”

“Stacie.” The softness tugged at her, made her still, waiting. “Please… touch me.”

Stacie rose up and captured Aubrey’s lips with a groan that surprised her with its intensity. She licked deeply into Aubrey’s mouth, her fingers finding and teasing the small peak that had formed against her palm. When that wasn’t enough she shifted over Aubrey, that same groan deep and low in the back of her throat, desperate and hungry as Aubrey’s legs parted to let her fit between them. She felt desire flare up, hot and needy, as Aubrey’s legs bent and tightened against Stacie’s hips, holding her in place before giving a roll against Stacie’s body with a quiet moan.

She had no idea how long they kissed, but it was like she couldn’t get enough of the woman beneath her. Each meeting and parting of their lips was deeper and stronger than the last and when Aubrey wrapped her arms and legs around her, Stacie ground down against her, her head going back as groaned at how good it felt. With a slight tug Aubrey pulled herself up and licked the column of Stacie’s throat. Unable to help herself, Stacie’s hips rocked against Aubrey’s, her body coiling tighter as it mindlessly sought friction. With a shudder, Aubrey’s teeth scraped against Stacie’s neck and quicksilver ran through her veins before she lost herself in Aubrey once more.

“Aubrey…” Stacie panted, pulling back just enough to speak. “I want… Can I…?” Words were slow to form when all of her mind was focused on how Aubrey felt writhing underneath her. She took a deep breath but it shuddered out when Aubrey gripped her ass with both hands.

“Yes.” She pulled on Stacie’s bottom lip with her teeth.

Despite the fact that the sensation had shot straight between her legs, Stacie managed a chuckle. “You don’t even know what I was going to ask.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Aubrey pulled her back down and Stacie’s hips rocked again.

Forcing herself away after one slow kiss, Stacie pushed herself up to kneel between Aubrey’s legs. Gently she slipped her fingers under the hem of Aubrey’s shirt and looked up but she was already nodding and lifting herself so Stacie could pull the shirt over her head. Quickly she stripped off her own and threw them both on the other bed.

Looking down she saw Aubrey’s eyes wander before they locked on her chest and Stacie couldn’t help the small grin that slowly dropped away as she took in Aubrey’s own half naked form. She was so beautiful that it caused an unexpected flutter that Stacie quickly dismissed as she lowered herself down and pressed their bare skin together.

It felt so good that Stacie couldn’t help shifting against her again, feeling sinfully decadent as hard nipples rubbed against her own. Aubrey’s head arched back, allowing Stacie to quickly dip her tongue into the accentuated hollow of her throat before whispering in her ear. “Pants next.” She smiled as Aubrey whimpered, nodding quickly. She let her tongue trail down Aubrey’s neck, between her breasts, forcefully keeping her mouth from making any detours, until she could slide off the bed.

She watched Aubrey as she removed the rest of her clothes; watched that ardent emerald gaze track down her legs and back up, pausing here and there before meeting her own. Tossing her clothes on their shirts, she turned back and gently pulled the long sleep pants from Aubrey’s body, feeling her own pulse beating faster with every inch of skin that came into view. Adding the clothes to the pile she was struck by a sudden thought and moved to make sure the door was locked. The last thing she needed was an interruption by some drunken ass who thought he was at the right room. It had happened before, though not in such an intimate moment as this because Stacie had never brought any of her dates back to her room. Aubrey, apparently, was the exception to many of her rules.

Stacie turned back to the bed and walked toward it before stopping at the vision in front of her. Aubrey lay on her sheets, hair mussed and spread across Stacie’s pillow and, despite the fact that Stacie could practically feel her need to fidget, lying quietly under Stacie’s gaze. The words rose to her lips easily and she spoke them without hesitation.

“You’re beautiful, Aubrey.”

She saw the protest rise and die before a shy smile came into view. “I was just about to say the same thing.” Aubrey held out her hand. “Come back to bed?”

The request brought with it deep pleasure and Stacie smiled widely as she crawled back into bed. But instead of returning where she wanted to be, which was solidly between the legs of the gorgeous woman waiting for her, she still had to be sure. As she settled on her left side, Aubrey started to turn on her right to face her, but Stacie stopped her with a gentle hand on her chest. “Wait.”

“You better not be about to ask me if I’m still okay.” One slender eyebrow arched and Stacie laughed.

“They do say great minds think alike.” But it surprised her at how easily Aubrey had been able to read the question she’d been about to ask. “Aubrey…”

“Stacie.” Aubrey cut her off and lifted her hand to run a thumb across Stacie’s lips where she pulled it in and sucked lightly, tickling the tip of it with her tongue. Apparently deciding words would take too long Aubrey merely grabbed the hand that had been resting between her breasts to cover her left one.

Instinctively Stacie’s fingers closed gently and squeezed, giving up all thoughts of restraint when Aubrey arched into her. She massaged gently, rolling her fingers as Aubrey’s tightened on them and gave in to what she wanted most and lowered her mouth to Aubrey’s right breast and pulled it between her lips.

She worshiped the hardened nub with lips and tongue, her fingers still teasing and tugging the other, and her body clenched with every whimper and twitch that rolled from between Aubrey’s lips.

“Oh, _yes_.” Aubrey’s body pressed upward and Stace hummed in agreement.

When Aubrey’s legs flexed and shifted, Stacie let her right hand slowly slide down muscles that trembled, curving over to grip Aubrey’s hip before finally dragging her nails down to cup between Aubrey’s legs. She rolled her palm, moaning quietly at how wet Aubrey was against her fingers and felt her own center throb in time with her pounding pulse when Aubrey let out a cry.

Lifting her head she captured Aubrey’s lips just as she slid her middle finger between slick folds. Aubrey cried out into her mouth just before Stacie began to use her finger to stroke and tease through liquid heat. Stacie curled closer as Aubrey’s legs parted and braced, rocking her hips to meet Stacie’s touch.

“Stacie, please.” Aubrey begged, her words full of desperate hunger that Stacie found herself hard pressed to not answer.

But she took her time, learning and tracing – if all she had was tonight, then she was going to make it last and make it perfect for Aubrey. For them. The last thing she wanted was for Aubrey to have any regrets. Of course, that didn’t mean she couldn’t tease just a little in the process.

Aubrey’s mouth opened again and Stacie slid two fingers deeply inside her and instead of the begging she’d likely been about to do came a throaty “Oh, _fuck!_ ” Finding herself more than slightly turned on by the sound of that word leaving Aubrey’s lips, Stacie flexed her fingers inside, curling high and rubbing against her top wall and Aubrey said it again. “ **Fuck** … Stacie… _unh_.”

Stacie withdrew her hand and slid back in again, this time making sure to apply pressure to Aubrey’s clit which she had deliberately avoided until now. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before.” She shifted her weight and Aubrey’s right arm moved to make room, slipping along Stacie’s back where her fingers dug in.

“I save it… for special… occasions,” Aubrey said even as her body rolled against Stacie’s hand. “More of an impact.” Stacie pressed deeply within and twisted her fingers, wondering if she’d get a… “ ** _Fuck_**!”

“Mm, I have to admit,” Stacie said as she shifted to brace herself on her left arm and cover Aubrey’s body as much as she could without limiting her movement. “It’s **really** fucking hot, Bree.” Letting her legs tangle with Aubrey’s she thrust against Aubrey with her whole body, using the force to press deeper and more powerfully with every stroke of her hand.

Each inch of skin that brushed together made sparks fly along Stacie’s nerves, joining together in a firestorm that filled her from head to toe. Only dimly was she aware of her own whimpers and moans, she was too focused on Aubrey, on what made her cry out or gasp, shudder and cling to Stacie like a lifeline.

“You feel so good, Bree.” Stacie said and surged upward, shuddering when Aubrey cried out her name. “Jesus, I love hearing you say my name like that.” She dropped her forehead to Aubrey’s shoulder, ignoring her body’s own rise toward the peak without even being touched. That certainly had never happened before but she didn’t have time to focus on it when Aubrey’s hands clutched at her. Thrusting upward again, Stacie licked the hollow of Aubrey’s throat. “I can’t wait to hear what you sound like when you come.” The thought alone brought her thighs together in search of friction and she pushed it away.

Nipping and sucking, Stacie made a path from Aubrey’s neck down to her breasts, swirling each nipple with her tongue and back up to capture her mouth in a kiss that stole the breath from them both before tugging at her ear. Back and forth without pattern, she let herself wander wherever her tongue led. Aubrey’s cries wove around them, the need in them pulling Stacie ever closer as she rocked her body upward, feeling her own pulse race.

“Faster,” Aubrey suddenly panted out. “Oh, fu…” She broke off as her hips jerked up, hard and fast to meet Stacie. “ _Faster_. **_Please_** … oh god, I… need…”

Helpless against the plea, Stacie complied, her whole body sliding easily against Aubrey’s as each thrust, each surge of her body pushed Aubrey higher and higher until Stacie added a third finger to fill her and pressed against Aubrey’s clit with firm, circling pressure using the heel of her hand.

Aubrey’s body locked as her muscles clamped down on Stacie and prevented her from moving easily, so she just pressed deeper, trying to keep Aubrey up as long as she could as she flexed and rubbed from the inside. Her mouth easily found Aubrey’s nipple as her back bowed off the bed, though she kept it light and lazy until, finally, Aubrey’s body relaxed and collapsed. With a last kiss to the wet peak, Stacie placed gentle kisses along sweat beaded skin until she could kiss her once more. Slowly, reluctantly, she pulled her hand away with a sigh of loss, one corner of her mouth twitching as Aubrey echoed it.

Aubrey’s eyes were closed and her skin was flushed from the exertion and her orgasm and Stacie thought… “I don’t know how, but you’re even more beautiful now.”

Aubrey looked up and met her eyes searchingly before she chuckled. “Flushed and out of breath?”

“Maybe.” Stacie brushed away hair that had stuck to Aubrey’s face before resting her hand between Aubrey’s breasts, feeling the way her heart still pounded. “I like seeing this side of you – no, not the naked.” Honesty made her half smile. Well, not _just_ the naked.” She lifted her hand again and stroked Aubrey’s cheek. “You’re just… Aubrey.” It wasn’t what she wanted to say, but she wasn’t sure what words would adequately explain what she meant. Though, by the rising confusion in Aubrey’s eyes, she figured she’d better find them quickly.

“Is that bad?”

“No.” Stacie said firmly. She spoke slowly, feeling her way through it. “It’s… I was going to say that you were special – and you are – but I guess it really makes me feel like _I_ am. Because you let me see the real you. And I get the feeling that you don’t let a lot of people in.”

It still wasn’t exactly right, but she didn’t know how to compress six months of dinners, laughs and side glances into words; especially when she didn’t fully understand her own thoughts and feelings.

“Just Chloe.” Aubrey’s words were as soft as her touch against Stacie’s back. “Until now.”

“Thank you.” That protective surge came back as Stacie leaned down to kiss Aubrey gently. “For trusting me.” She knew there was more but wasn’t going to push. Then Aubrey chuckled and the husk in it pulled Stacie away from her inner thoughts.

“I think it’s me who should be thanking you.” She stretched and Stacie’s body instinctively pressed back against her. “I just hope I can do it properly without having had…” She paused, pursing her lips and Stacie had to fight back the urge to nibble them. “Hands on experience.”

Going with the playful under current, Stacie smiled. “If you try to tell me you’ve never touched yourself…” Aubrey poked her in the side and she jumped.

“That’s different.” Aubrey ran her hand down Stacie’s arm. “You are a whole lot of woman, Stacie Conrad.”

“So you’re telling me Aubrey Posen is intimidated?” This playful side was new and Stacie couldn’t get enough.

“A Posen is **never** intimidated,” Aubrey sniffed airily.

Without thinking, Stacie tickled Aubrey’s side and gasped with delight when Aubrey squealed. “Holy shit, you’re ticklish?” She pushed up on her left arm and grinned wide enough that it hurt her cheeks.

“No!” Aubrey yelled but Stacie’s fingers had already danced across her ribs. “Stacie!” Aubrey swatted at her but since she was laughing too hard there was no force behind it.

Until, with a look of utter concentration even as she squirmed under Stacie, Aubrey began a search across Stacie’s body until she found a spot high upon Stacie’s ribs that made her convulse and try to get away. A ticklish spot that Stacie would have sworn she didn’t have and had never been affected by before. Helpless against the sudden and previously unknown weakness, Stacie found herself on her back, laughing until she had just enough breath in her to yell, “Uncle!” Weakly she let her hands drop to the bed. “I surrender!”

“Ha! I love winning!” Aubrey crowed from her spot straddling Stacie’s hips. She leaned down and stole a kiss.

Having already admitted defeat, Stacie gave it willingly, wrapping her arms around Aubrey’s neck and tugged her closer. Aubrey’s arms were braced on either side, but her body was still an intoxicating weight against her and Stacie reveled in it. A slight tension and shift in Aubrey’s weight made Stacie pull back. “You don’t have to…” But Aubrey’s teeth pulled at her bottom lip and Stacie hissed in pleasure.

“Oh, I want to.”  Aubrey slid against Stacie and kissed her again, humming before she pulled back. “If that’s okay?”

The low, husky rasp to Aubrey’s voice purred along Stacie’s skin. “Oh, yes please.” She reached to kiss Aubrey but she was already pushing to sit back on her heels.

“So polite.” Aubrey smiled at her, pushing her back down on the mattress.

Stacie’s hands settled on Aubrey’s thighs, forcing herself to keep them there instead of wandering like she wanted. Instead she watched Aubrey’s face, noting each shift of her eyes, each unconscious lick of her lips. Stacie lay quietly as Aubrey’s hands mapped their way down her body, feeling her skin come alive as they passed.

“Cold?” Aubrey teased quietly.

“I wouldn’t say that.” Stacie flexed her fingers instead of slipping them back into Aubrey’s warmth. It was more difficult when she could feel Aubrey’s desire painting itself against her skin where she straddled Stacie’s body.

Aubrey smirked and Stacie clenched at the confident leer of it as she looked pointedly at Stacie’s breasts. “You sure?”

“I could never be cold when you look at me like that.” Stacie took a slow breath at the admission she hadn’t even known she was going to say, no matter how true it was.

“You’re breathtaking.” Aubrey said softly and Stacie’s gaze locked on her face which had the faintest hint of blush to it. “That sounded way cheesier when said out loud.” She closed her eyes and shook her head at herself.

Stacie tapped her fingers on silken skin until Aubrey looked back at her. “That’s actually the most sincere thing anyone has ever said to me.” She tightened her grip on Aubrey’s thigh. “Thank you.” ~~~~

People had called her hot or sexy or pretty before. They’d even called her beautiful and gorgeous. But it was always shallow and surface and generally designed to get her into bed. No one had ever called her breathtaking before much less said _anything_ with such reverent sincerity. In Stacie’s experience talk was cheap, but the way Aubrey had said it, and clearly meant it with everything she was, shook her slightly and she didn’t know how to react to it. So she was grateful when Aubrey leaned down and kissed her again, slow and gentle, before pushing back up and letting her hands curve around Stacie’s ribs, making her squirm.

“Don’t worry. I won’t start another tickle fight.” Aubrey promised.

“I don’t know that I believe you.” Stacie watched her carefully, one eyebrow raised as she readied herself to return such an assault if it happened.

“Mmm.” Aubrey pushed her hands up and Stacie arced just the slightest bit into them as they touched the underside of her breasts. “Guess I’ll just have to convince you.”

Stacie took a quick breath but instead of going higher, Aubrey’s hands dipped lower and she took her time mapping out Stacie’s stomach. Aubrey smiled as she felt her trembling under her touch before finally, torturously slow to Stacie’s mind, covered Stacie’s breasts with her hands.

The first touch was hesitant as Aubrey merely copied what Stacie had done to her earlier, but even that touch was enough to bring Stacie’s back off the bed. Clever fingers gaining in confidence, Aubrey circled and teased until Stacie thought she’d go crazy.

“Bree,” Stacie breathed out, her head turning restlessly as Aubrey’s thumbs moved in tandem across her nipples. Then Aubrey was lowering herself and Stacie’s pulse sped up in anticipation.

Aubrey’s mouth covered one breast, moaning as her tongue stroked across Stacie’s nipple and Stacie’s hands instantly wound into her hair. Stacie’s breath rasped in her lungs as Aubrey moved from left breast to right, all hesitation gone and boldly tugging with her teeth until Stacie found herself begging.

“Bree, please…” Aubrey tugged again and Stacie hissed out her appreciation. “Or keep doing that.” Aubrey hummed against her and the vibration made her twitch. “I was wrong, keep doing _that_.” She whimpered as Aubrey pulled away only to have it be lost as Aubrey kissed her, slow and deep.

“I think I’m getting the hang of this.” Aubrey’s tongue swiped across Stacie’s lips.

“If you hadn’t told me,” Stacie wasn’t even ashamed that she was panting as she watched Aubrey sit back on her heels again. “I’d have never known you…” She broke off with a cry as Aubrey lightly ran her nails down both her sides.

“Were a lesbian virgin?” Aubrey grinned as Stacie chuckled in surprise. “You’re a great teacher. She pushed up to her hands and knees and Stacie watched as Aubrey moved backward on the bed. When Aubrey patted her leg Stacie eagerly parted them, making room for Aubrey to kneel between them and stretch her arms under and around to hold them. A warm gust of breath across her center caused them to widen further.

“Aub..” Stacie started, unsure what she was going to say – probably something stupid like telling her she didn’t have to – but the sensation of Aubrey’s tongue on her overly sensitive clit chased away anything else. “ _Fuck_!”

If anyone had told her six months ago that not only was Aubrey going to one day end up in her bed but also be the one to take things _this_ far, Stacie would have laughed in their face. If they had also told her that the sight alone would almost be enough to push her over the edge, she’d have thought they had brain damage.

But when Aubrey gave the first experimental lick between her legs, Stacie found herself embarrassingly close to coming. She closed her eyes and willed it back until Aubrey’s voice, several octaves lower, caused them to fly open again. Stacie felt her skin erupt into goosebumps as she met the emerald gaze looking up at her.

“That _is_ the goal.” She let out another one of those low husky chuckles and Stacie wondered if she was going to survive what was about to happen as the sound skated down her spine. Aubrey lowered herself back down and Stacie swore she saw stars as Aubrey’s mouth claimed her again.

There was no real hesitation, none of the uncertainty that Stacie had subconsciously expected. Instead Aubrey moved with purpose, taking her time and learning every inch of Stacie’s center with a firm tongue and gentle sucks. It was more than just figuring things out as she went; it was Aubrey’s natural confidence coming through. An instinctive grace that Stacie wasn’t too ashamed to admit she’d never found attractive, much less thought it was hot, in anyone before. Until now.

Stacie’s left hand shot out and slapped against the wall, desperate for any kind of anchor as Aubrey briefly pushed her tongue inside and curled experimentally. Stacie arched on the bed with a high pitched keen, her right hand digging into the sheets for a second anchor. Startled at the sudden sound, Aubrey lifted her head and Stacie was shocked to hear herself whimper as she saw the evidence of her arousal on Aubrey’s lips in the dim light.

“Are you-” Aubrey started to ask but Stacie was already nodding.

“ ** _Fine_**! Don’t stop – God, **fuck** , _please_ don’t stop, Bree.” Stacie pleaded then whimpered again at the confident smirk that bloomed at her desperation. Aubrey stretched out her left hand to cover Stacie’s right and without thinking she let go of her sheets to lace their fingers together.

Watching her with hooded eyes, Aubrey slowly licked her lips. “You know, when I first thought about doing this,” she paused to dip her tongue back into Stacie’s desperately aching core, “I didn’t take into account certain… aspects. If I had, I might have hesitated.” She pulled her lower lip into her mouth and sucked on it with a moan, her eyes locked on Stacie. “I’m so glad I didn’t, because I _love_ the way you taste.” The shock of her admission sent lightning through Stacie’s body, especially when combined with the rumbling purr that she could feel dance along her skin.

Stacie’s eyes rolled back in her head as Aubrey began to suck on her clit, her fingers tightening their grip on Aubrey’s. “Oh, fuck –” Her back bowed when Aubrey’s tongue flicked once, twice then settled in a rhythm that stole the breath from her lungs for long enough that she saw black spots before her eyes.

“Stace, you gotta breath, darlin’.”

Aubrey’s voice broke through and Stacie drew in a deep breath, feeling lightheaded for several more seconds. She forced her eyes open and found Aubrey watching her, highly amused and not a single trace of concern in sight. If anything, she was slightly… smug. Stacie had no idea how or why but it turned her on even more. She took a careful breath and her focus cleared.

“It’s your own fault.”

Instead of answering, Aubrey’s smug grin deepened, if that were even possible, and she bent back down and resumed her onslaught of Stacie’s equilibrium, somehow finding the exact spot and pressure that was guaranteed to send Stacie flying through space. The pressure built as her body tightened, each stroke a wave that built on the last, lifting her higher and higher until she went rigid, coming undone with a sharp cry and Aubrey’s name ringing in her thoughts and off her lips.

Bit by bit she came back to herself. When she finally was able to open her eyes, she found Aubrey watching her, one cheek resting against the inside of Stacie’s right thigh. The smug was still there, but also a tenderness that Stacie could feel bathing her in its warmth like a caress on her skin.

“Not so bad for a first timer?” Aubrey offered.

“Not bad for _anyone_.” Stacie slowly relaxed her clenched grip on Aubrey’s hand but didn’t let her go. “Jesus, Bree.”

“Bree is fine.” Aubrey grinned when Stacie rolled her eyes. “I thought at one point you were going to pass out.”

“I almost did.” Aftershocks ran through her and she stretched, feeling the soreness in muscles that had finally dropped their tension. “But that’s okay – what you were doing would’ve brought me back ‘round again. There’s no way my body would’ve let me miss out on any of that.” She rubbed her thumb against Aubrey’s hand. “Once I can move, I’m going to show my appreciation.” She licked her lips. “Several times.”

“‘Once you can move,’ huh?” Aubrey’s eyes twinkled at her. “So you’re saying I have you at my mercy right now?”

Stacie weighed her choices and decided to have a little fun. “I wouldn’t go that far…”

Before her thought was even finished Aubrey slid two fingers inside her and Stacie’s whole body rose off the bed at the unexpected sensation of being filled.

“ _Ohmyfuckinggod_ ,” Stacie cried out, the image of those slender, dexterous fingers easing into her emblazoned in her mind. Once she’d walked into practice while Aubrey was playing the piano and the casual grace in her hands had stuck with Stacie. She’d unashamedly wondered what they would feel like in just this situation but her bedtime thoughts were nowhere near the ecstasy of the reality.

“Mm, that’s what I thought.” Aubrey said before she nuzzled at Stacie’s center and began to build her up once more.

Stacie had no idea if Aubrey had intended it to be slow, but she couldn’t have stopped her orgasm if she’d tried – which she actually had for only the third time in her life and the second time already that night.  Her body utterly betrayed her and gladly followed Aubrey’s siren call off the cliff into free fall, her only anchor the firm grip Aubrey still had on her hand. 

Pulling herself together took longer this time, the pieces of herself scattered far and wide, and by the time her ears stopped ringing Aubrey was nestled against her side.

Stacie didn’t bother to open her eyes. “Hi.” Aubrey only laughed and kissed her cheek. “Don’t come crying to me when you’re a Bella short for the ICCAs because I’m dead.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Aubrey fell silent for long enough that Stacie opened her eyes. “Stacie…” Her mouth worked as if she was looking for the right words but instead of finishing her thought she only pushed up to claim a kiss.

Wondering what was running under the surface, maddeningly just out of sight behind Aubrey’s eyes, Stacie returned it. She stoked her hand down the arm Aubrey had draped over her waist, her fingertips tracing aimless designs until Aubrey shuddered against her.

“C’mere.” Stacie whispered as their lips parted.

“I’m not sure I can get any closer,” Aubrey laughed but willingly followed when Stacie tugged to pull her over like a blanket… and kept pulling her with a grin. “What…?”

“I may have considered certain… aspects.” Stacie replied casually. “And I don’t think I want to wait anymore to find out and you definitely deserve a…” she paused, thinking, as Aubrey straddled her hips. “Reward doesn’t seem like the right word, but it’s probably close enough.”

“Oh, tell me more…” Aubrey stopped again when Stacie urged her higher. Stacie could tell the second Aubrey realized what she had in mind and the hunger in her eyes, wanton and sharp, took away the breath Stacie had just gotten back. “Oh, _yes please_.”

“So polite,” Stacie murmured with a grin as Aubrey’s knees settled carefully on either side of her head. “Let’s see if I can change that into something with a little more… impact.” She pulled Aubrey down to her, moaning her appreciation as she took her first lick through Aubrey’s center.

“Oh, _fuck_.” Aubrey moaned and the sheer, almost sinful, desire in it was enough to curl Stacie’s toes.

Somewhat reluctantly Stacie paused. “That’s a good start, but let’s see if I can do better, shall we?” She wrapped her arms around Aubrey from behind, her hands firmly gripping the front of Aubrey’s thighs.

“Oh, **_fuck_**!” Aubrey’s body rolled above her.

“Mm, that’s better,” Stacie whispered before setting herself to the task of making one Aubrey Posen nothing but a boneless puddle for the rest of the night.

By the time they finally fell asleep later – much, _much_ later – Stacie wasn’t sure who had won in that goal. As she fell into an exhausted sleep, something extremely rare for her, she decided it had been a tie and that was more than alright with her. She pulled Aubrey closer against her and let sleep take her.

 

* * *

 

~S~

Feather light kisses on her eyelashes were the first thing she noticed as she slowly rose from sleep.

Second were the fingers lazily circling first one nipple then the other.

Third, once Aubrey realized she was wake, was the hand leaving her breasts and trailing down her body.

With a quiet sigh of pleasure Stacie parted her legs, sighing again at the soft touch between them, feeling sleep fall away as desire took its place.

Slowly, almost lazily, the two of them lay side by side as their hands stroked and caressed, bringing each other to the peak simultaneously with their combined cries muffled against skin warm from sleep and exertion. Stacie had tucked her head under Aubrey’s, lips pressed to the side of her neck when her climax swept over her; Aubrey had hers against Stacie’s shoulder and as she came she’d exchanged lips for teeth, not that Stacie minded the slight pain.

They kissed again and Stacie felt something different in it, something quiet, and she couldn’t figure out if it was coming from her or Aubrey. It unsettled her until she deliberately pushed it away to try and figure out later. Or, far more likely… not. Feelings weren’t her strong suit, especially when they were her own. She ignored the fact that Aubrey’s feelings had been - and continued to be - important enough over the past few months.

“I knew you’d be an early riser,” Stacie said as she rested on her back once more.

“It’s not that early,” Aubrey said, her lips grazing Stacie’s ear before she tugged it with her teeth.

Stacie gave a grunt and let herself relax again. “That mean it’s time to get ready for practice?” She turned her head, pleased when Aubrey’s lips captured hers.

“No practice today,” Aubrey said when they parted. “We’ve been pushing it hard and I think I can spare the weekend.”

One corner of her mouth twitching up, Stacie opened her eyes. “Who are you and what have you done with Aubrey?”

Aubrey propped her head up on her hand. “I’m pretty sure it was you who was doing the… doing.” She grinned when Stacie laughed.

“Oh yeah.” Stacie hummed as she ran her nails down Aubrey’s back, loving the way Aubrey pressed against her in reaction. “I was, wasn’t I?”

“Mmhm.” Aubrey kissed along her jaw line. “But… I may need breakfast.” Stacie’s stomach rumbled immediately and Aubrey let out a startled chuckle. “And apparently you _definitely_ need breakfast.”

“You said food and my stomach heard the call of its people.” Stacie lifted one shoulder. “I burned off a lot of energy last night.”

“Suppose that means I should take you home and feed you, since that’s partially my fault and all.” Aubrey pursed her lips, thinking.

“Entirely your fault and yes.” Stacie yelped when Aubrey’s fingers skated across her ribs and she trapped them against her side. “Hey, none of that! I’m weak from hunger and would you really feel right about winning that way?”

“Maybe,” Aubrey said then stiffened as her stomach rumbled. “But I guess we’ll never know.” She fell silent for a moment, her brows drawing together ever so slightly.

The words ‘ _Never say never_ ’ were on Stacie’s lips but she let them die there as the quiet feeling came back, still unable to tell who it was coming from. Stacie knew Aubrey, knew that even though she hadn’t explicitly stated it, the night before had been a one-time thing.

Maybe, if Aubrey hadn’t been graduating and they were under the same roof, things would be different and there would be an encore performance… Stacie let the thought drop. She’d made Aubrey a promise and she’d keep it. She pulled Aubrey down into another kiss. They hadn’t opened the door yet and she was determined to stock up on memories before they did.

When Aubrey’s stomach grumbled again they parted, laughing.

“Sorry.” Aubrey rubbed her stomach.

“Don’t be, mine’s about to talk back.” Stacie paused as her own began to rumble. “Guess we should feed them before they plot to overthrow the world.”

“Probably.” Aubrey stretched and suddenly whipped the covers away. “Better to get it over quick.”

Stacie merely shrugged. “Gran’s house was always cold. Thrifty, didn’t like to waste money on frivolous things like heat. So she walked around bundled in sweaters. I built up a tolerance.”

“Liar,” Aubrey looked down at her chest.

Stacie looked down and saw her nipples were at full attention. “That’s not because of the cold, Bree.” She looked over at Aubrey’s naked body. “Not at all.” Even though her body still tingled from her last orgasm, Stacie wouldn’t have said no to another – or to giving Aubrey _several_ more.

“Oh.” Aubrey blinked at her. “ _Oh_.” To Stacie’s delight, she blushed.

“Mm.” Stacie stretched just a little bit with her left hand and let it run over the swell of Aubrey’s ass before she patted it affectionately. “Exactly.”

Aubrey ducked her head and stole another kiss before pushing on Stacie’s shoulder. “You have to get out first, if I have to crawl over you we’re never going to get up.”

“I’m not seeing a problem with that,” Stacie protested. As if on cue her stomach let out the loudest sound yet. “Damnit.” She sighed. “Fine.” Reluctantly, her entire body (except her stomach) wanting nothing more to remain where she was, she pushed herself to her feet and stretched. She groaned in relief as her back popped in several places.

“Wow.” Aubrey’s tone made her turn around and she smiled to see Aubrey unabashedly raking her eyes up and down Stacie’s body. “That sounded like it hurt.”

“Eh.” Stacie shrugged. “Not really. Most of the time I don’t notice it until I stretch.”

“You should do yoga.” Aubrey said as she slid to the edge of the bed and stood up. “Might help.”

“Maybe.” Stacie shrugged again. “I stretched daily even before the Bellas; it’s the main thing I learned from ballet.”

Aubrey ran her fingers through her hair and gave a stretch of her own. Stacie wasn’t shy as she let her own eyes wander, committing details to memory. Aubrey opened her eyes and caught her at it, a grin tugging at her lips, but she didn’t say anything, merely walked over to pick up her clothes from the night before. Reluctantly tearing her eyes away, Stacie took their unused sleep clothes from her roommate’s bed and tossed them on her own after making it.

When they were both dressed, Stacie grabbed her toiletry case. “Before I open the door…” She turned to Aubrey and straightened out a stray curl that had wound around itself. “I just wanted to…” She hesitated, tiptoeing through unfamiliar territory. “Say thank you for trusting me.” It wasn’t right, she knew it, but the right words weren’t there. Caring and keeping people around didn’t come naturally for her and now suddenly she had a whole gaggle of girls whose thoughts and feelings mattered. Thankfully Aubrey seemed to understand despite the awkward way she’d said it.

“You made me feel… safe.” She reached up and took Stacie’s hand.

Stacie resisted the urge to swallow against a sudden pressure in her chest as that protective feeling washed over her again. “That… thank you.” She knew that sentence was one Aubrey would never say lightly and it meant a lot that she had said it to Stacie.

With a deep breath, Stacie unlocked her door. “First stop bathroom, second stop French Toast.”

“Is that what I’m making?” Aubrey asked as Stacie opened the door and held it open.

“Yes.” Stacie closed the door behind her and locked it. Aubrey laughed and Stacie wasn’t ashamed to bat her eyelashes. “I mean, please.”

“Since you asked so nicely…” Aubrey rolled her eyes as they walked toward the bathroom. “I’m going to have to make extra. Beca will eat a loaf on her own.”

“Where does all the food she eats go?” Stacie mused, holding the bathroom door open.

“I have no idea; she’s like a bottomless pit.”

They fell into companionable silence as they completed their morning rituals of face washing and teeth brushing after using the facilities. The silence continued as they walked back to Stacie’s room to drop off the toiletry bag. She was surprised when Aubrey closed the door behind them and leaned against it, watching as Stacie put the bag back in her closet.

“Bree?” Stacie asked, almost hesitantly, unable to read her expression. She remained still as Aubrey took a step closer to her, one hand lifting to trace her eyebrow like she had the night before.

“I know we said… things would go back when we opened the door.” Aubrey said softly, her eyes on Stacie’s. “But it’s closed for the moment…” She stepped forward again, bringing them together as her hand slid to the back of Stacie’s neck. “And I just want one more for the road.”

Heeding the gentle pressure, Stacie bent her head and kissed Aubrey softly at first then deeper as Aubrey’s tongue curled around hers and tugged it into her mouth to suck on lightly. With a quiet whimper Stacie wrapped her arms around Aubrey, molding their bodies together as they kissed for what felt like an eternity that was over in a heartbeat.

Aubrey pulled away first, her fingers pressing for another second against Stacie’s skin before they too slipped away. Before Stacie could think of anything to say Aubrey had opened the door and slipped outside.

Lips tingling, Stacie took a few more seconds to pull herself together. Aubrey had pulled out all the stops with that last kiss and Stacie needed a minute to calm her heart.

That quiet feeling was back and this time she knew it had come from both of them; a mix of emotions that she didn’t know if she would ever fully sort them out. Though, as she followed Aubrey out and offered a smile after locking up behind them, she had figured out at least one.

_Regret._

Not that the evening happened, far from it. It had been one of the best nights of Stacie’s life and she knew she would look back on it with extreme fondness… and _often_.

But she regretted that their time together was almost over because Aubrey Posen was one of the most complex people Stacie had ever met and she’d only just begun to scratch the surface. The end of the year was hurtling at them and then… she’d be gone. Stacie imagined that Aubrey would keep in touch, but it wouldn’t be the daily routine and weekly dinners that she realized she was really going to miss.

Side by side, close but not touching, they left the dorm and began the walk to the Bella house. They didn’t talk much and the silence _wasn’t_ awkward or uncomfortable. But she kept her hands to herself where before she might’ve tried to take Aubrey’s just to see what she’d do. The dynamic hadn’t shifted back to where they’d been so much as it had changed to something new that Stacie hadn’t figured out yet.

“You text the others about practice?” Stacie asked as they turned onto the right street.

“Shoot, no.” Aubrey dug into her pocket for her phone. “Thanks,” she said after she’d typed out and sent a quick group text.

“No problem.” Stacie followed Aubrey up the walk and into the house, removing her jacket and hanging it from the rack by the door. “Want me to go get them?” She jerked her thumb toward the stairs.

“Let them sleep. They were a lot more drunk than us.” Aubrey said as she led the way into the kitchen.  “One of us can go get them when it’s time.” She paused as she opened one of the cupboards. “You can go get them, I mean.”

“Me?” Stacie leaned against the sink. “Why me?”

“First, you just volunteered and second… I don’t want to go up there and overhear something potentially scarring.” Aubrey grinned at her. “I don’t think you’ve got the same fear.”

“Are you saying that I’m an aca-perv?” Stacie put her hand on her chest and fluttered her eyelashes. Instead of answering, Aubrey just gave her a flat look, one eyebrow arching and Stacie was struck with the memory of feeling that exact same motion against her lips at some point last night. She held back the shiver and merely pursed her lips. “We’ll draw straws.”

“Seriously?” Aubrey set a stack of bowls on the counter. “You’re going to make me draw straws?”

“Seems only fair.” Stacie shrugged. “Point them out and I’ll prep.” Aubrey pointed at one of the cabinets on the wall and Stacie pushed off the counter to search through until she found the bulk bag of straws. “Sci-” Plucking one out, she turned around and found Aubrey was already holding out a pair of kitchen shears. “You’re so on top of things.” Pretending the accidental innuendo didn’t send a jolt through her was nothing to pretending she didn’t see a matching one make Aubrey’s eyes go wide. Forcing her face to stay relaxed – and the image of Aubrey kneeling over her away – Stacie cut the straw in half and one of those almost in half again.

“Thanks,” Aubrey said absently when Stacie handed her back the scissors, one hand reaching up to touch her neck. Suddenly Stacie understood why the motion was so familiar. Aubrey had done it often over the year, usually touching the scarf around her neck as if to make sure it was there. Like she needed its security and reassurance when she was nervous.

Stacie turned her back, ostensibly to arrange the straws but more to give Aubrey a chance to compose herself. Though, as Stacie took a careful breath, maybe she needed a moment too. When she heard the drawer close she turned around, smile firmly in place.

“Alright.” She held up her hand with both straws perfectly aligned. “Pick one.”

“This is absurd,” Aubrey laughed and Stacie felt herself relax when it sounded natural and not forced.

“You’re the one that brought us here.” Stacie shrugged.

“I let you convince me to make you breakfast,” Aubrey pointed out. “It seems only fair that you go get the other two while I make it.”

“If only you had proposed it that way the first time.” Stacie said sadly. “Now we’re here and it’s down to the luck of the draw.”

Aubrey’s lips twitched as she fought against a grin. “You’re going to stand there until I pick one, aren’t you?” At Stacie’s solemn nod, the grin broke free. “Fine.” She reached out and paused. “Short straw is the loser, right?”

“Of course,” Stacie shook her head. “What kind of heathens do you play with that do it differently?”

“My brothers,” Aubrey said wryly. “They like to change the rules of games without telling me. I ended up having to clean out the stables by myself one day after thinking I’d won.”

“Yuck.” Stacie watched as Aubrey considered the two pieces of plastic sticking above the edge of her hand. “You had horses, huh?”

“Mmhm.” Aubrey nodded slowly, her hand hesitating in the air.

“I’ve never been on a horse.” Stacie mused. “Always wanted to learn how to ride though.” It had been on the tip of her tongue to make a comment about how girls on horses were hot when Aubrey’s next words knocked everything else out of her mind.

“I’ll teach you how one day.” It was said almost absently, as if for once she wasn’t thinking before she answered.

For one brief moment Stacie had the image of Aubrey behind her, making sure she didn’t fall off, telling her how to hold the reins as she held onto Stacie’s waist, the feel of the wind in their hair, Aubrey’s laugh in her ear…

“Alright, I’m just going with the right one.” Aubrey said, jerking Stacie from her brief but vivid daydream. She looked up as Stacie’s hand wavered slightly. “Unless that’s what you want me to do…” Her eyes narrowed on Stacie’s face.

Stacie forced herself not to clear her throat. “You’ll just have to pick and find out.” With one more glance at Stacie’s face, Aubrey plucked the right straw from her hand. Stacie held up the second, shorter piece. “Looks like you won.”

“Yes!” Aubrey threw both hands in the air and spun in place.

Stacie laughed and carefully hid the third piece in her hand. She’d never intended on making Aubrey go upstairs, had in fact been trying to come up a logical reason that she’d not had all three parts visible and now she didn’t have to. “Oh darn, I have to go upstairs and maybe gain new material to tease Beca with.” Stacie let out an exaggerated sigh as she took the straw back from Aubrey and threw them all away.

“Somehow I get the feeling the game was rigged,” Aubrey eyed her before turning back to the fridge. “You just wanted to see if I’d go through with it.”

“Maybe.” Stacie settled back down on one of the stools. “I’ll go get them when we’re closer to done.”

“Actually,” Aubrey said sheepishly over her shoulder. “If they’re still out cold or hung over it could take them a bit to come downstairs. Could you..?”

“You got it,” Stacie said as she stood back up. “I’ll let you know if I overhear anything good.”

“Oh god, please don’t.” Aubrey said as she set the carton of eggs on the center island. “That may be too much information about Beca than I’m prepared to have.”

“Your loss,” Stacie tossed over her shoulder as she headed for the stairs.

“Stacie?” Something in Aubrey’s voice made her pause by the couch and turn around. “Thank you.”

Stacie studied her for a moment, understanding coming slowly. Aubrey wasn’t thanking her for a great night of sex. She was thanking her for keeping her word and having them go back to being Captain and Bella; for not pushing or, maybe, not reminding her, at least intentionally, of what they had been to each other during the night. “You’re welcome.” She hesitated, instinctively wanting to shorten her next word but knowing she couldn’t. “Aubrey.” She was too far away but she thought she saw a flash of something go through Aubrey’s eyes before the blonde head nodded once then turned back to finish getting out the ingredients for breakfast.

As Stacie took the first steps up she figured out another reason for the _quiet_ from the morning, her own words echoing back to her as she felt the wall slowly coming back into being between her and the woman in the kitchen.

Loss.

She paused at the first landing and shook her head. _‘It’s not like you were going to go steady after this, Conrad._ ’ She thought to herself. ‘ _You aren’t interested in commitment and being tied down, so what is this sappy bullshit?’_ She frowned and started up the second set of stairs, more slowly than before. ‘ _Yes, Bree – **Aubrey** – is different than everyone else I’ve ever slept with, but it wasn’t like I was going to change my life for her, much less for someone who was leaving in a few months.’_ She felt steadier as she reached the second floor and approached Chloe’s door. ‘ _So while you’re going to miss the open and teasing **Bree** – and, okay, her stamina – you’re still friends with **Aubrey** and that doesn’t appear to be changing._ _So pull your shit together._ ’

Stacie blew out a breath and forced everything from the past twelve hours into a box and put a lid on it. Maybe she’d take the lid off again one day, but for now, she had two quite likely naked Bellas to wake up and breakfast to help make.

 

* * *

 

~A~

When she heard Stacie on the stairs, Aubrey set down the milk and braced her hands on the center island. She let her head drop as her emotions finally broke through her control and let herself **feel** _everything_ that had happened since she’d agreed to stay with Stacie.

Loneliness. Fear. Desire. Tenderness. Sadness.

It washed over her like a wave and her fingers twisted to grip the edge of the counters so tightly they ached. The night had been everything she had wanted. Had needed. Had denied.

Wouldn’t have again.

There was one more, one that she couldn’t hide from.

Love.

It had changed everything.

 _Stacie_ had changed everything – changed Aubrey.

Because if there was one thing Aubrey could no longer deny it was that she was head over heels in love with Stacie Conrad.

If things had been different, if she wasn’t graduating this year… she might have given in to it. Might have pursued, because with the way Stacie treated her, the care she took and, _oh **god** , _the way she had made Aubrey **_feel_** … it wasn’t at all like a one night stand.

But she was graduating.

Stacie wasn’t.

And the world didn’t stop for ‘ _if_ ’ or ‘ _might_ ’.

Only by the sheer strength of her stubborn Posen pride had she been able to keep the tears at bay when she had thanked Stacie. She hadn’t even known what she’d been thanking her for, but Stacie seemed to understand. Then Aubrey had too when Stacie had used her full name instead of ‘Bree’.

Their night was over, they no longer belonged to each other and Aubrey had to forget what that had been like.

But she couldn’t stop herself from remembering the morning one last time.

_She’d woken before Stacie and watched her sleep for the longest time. Stacie’s arms cradled her gently, not having moved a muscle since they had fallen asleep that way. Tucked under Stacie’s chin, Aubrey loved the way their bodies fit together and Stacie’s sleep warm skin against her own was something she didn’t think she could get enough of, especially in the time they had left._

_She’d lost count of the number of times Stacie had made her come throughout the night, though she **had** ensured that she returned each and every one of them, her name sounding like heaven as it fell from Stacie’s lips. It had been incredible and it was only exhaustion that had forced them to stop. But now she was awake, it was morning, and she still hadn’t had her fill of the woman whose bed she shared._

_Unable to **not** kiss her in that second, Aubrey’s lips moved feather light along the side of Stacie’s face, gently pushing herself up until she could kiss the lids covering deep green eyes. She wasn’t surprised to find her fingers were already gently caressing Stacie’s breasts, far more sure and confident in her movements than she had been that first time. She felt Stacie take a deeper breath, felt those small movements that meant she was waking up. She let her hand run down from Stacie’s chest to between her legs, stroking gently. Aubrey wanted this one to last. It had to last a lifetime._

_Stacie parted her legs with a sigh and Aubrey slipped her tongue into Stacie’s mouth and her fingers through her center. After a moment Stacie rolled them both onto their sides, her mouth claiming Aubrey’s while her hand drifted lower and found Aubrey already wet and aching._

_Aubrey had no idea how long they lay together that way, slowly building each other up with kisses before finally gliding inside. They strained together, legs braced to give access, and Stacie had tucked her face under Aubrey’s, her breath warm and hot against her throat as they panted in unison. Aubrey’s climax was strong enough that she apparently lost her sense of self and used her teeth on Stacie’s shoulder. Stacie had merely cried out and pressed her lips to Aubrey’s throat as her own orgasm took her at the same time._

_It was the most beautiful moment Aubrey had ever experienced in her life._

_Desperate to stop time and feeling each second fleeing like quicksilver, Aubrey had kissed her, trying to keep them there in this place despite the sun creeping in the windows._

_But they were out of time._

Like all good things, the night had come to an end and now… Stacie was no longer hers.

_‘Don’t fool yourself, Aubrey. Stacie was never yours. Last night was just… hormones.’_

As that thought – annoyingly sounding like Alice in her mind – brought an actual spasm of pain to her heart, Aubrey’s hand touched her throat. She swallowed suddenly, feeling the familiar stress reaction creeping up her chest. ‘ _Not now, not for this. Not after last night… please, no…_ ’ Aubrey silently begged her body, already knowing it was a lost cause.

Moving quickly through the house she made her way to the downstairs bathroom, locking the door behind her before she knelt at the toilet, waiting. It didn’t take long and she was glad that she hadn’t eaten anything yet that morning. It meant it was over quickly and with far less volume than the last time she’d thrown up.

Flushing away her shame, Aubrey stood, feeling drained in more ways than one. Maybe this was the one time losing control worked in her favor and she’d be too numb to feel the pain. After using the toothbrush and toothpaste that she kept downstairs for such emergencies, Aubrey made her way back to the kitchen.

Her world had changed.

And she had to pretend everything was the same.

To protect herself. To protect _Stacie_.

The last thing she wanted was for the other woman to feel guilty that Aubrey had read more into their night or, worse, feel any sort of pity that Aubrey had… fallen for her even after she’d said she wasn’t interested in things like love.

‘ _Though_ ,’ she reminded herself sadly, ‘ _last night was simply the final step off the cliff you pretended you weren’t marching up all year_.’

Aubrey turned on the radio, desperate for some sort of distraction from her endless images from the night before; Stacie’s face moving above her, beneath her, soft skin and kisses that even in memory could pull the air from her lungs.

The song was just changing when she turned it on and at the first opening notes she froze in the act of turning around.

 _‘Wise men say_  
Only fools rush in  
But I can’t help falling in love with you.”

She stared at the radio, one hand covering her mouth to muffle the hysterical laughter that wanted to come forth like an entirely new stress reaction. Because of course the Universe couldn’t help getting one last shot in.

 _‘Shall I stay?_  
Would it be a sin?  
If I can’t help falling in love with you’

She didn’t know who had changed it from the campus radio to this station, but the soft piano rendition of “[Can’t Help Falling In Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COFgTynydQE)” by Kina Grannis, normally a hauntingly beautiful piece that Aubrey enjoyed, was now like salt directly into her heart.

Helpless to turn it off, Aubrey let the song finish. Standing there, raw and aching, she realized she had been wrong earlier when she thought she was already numb. So she let herself feel, for one last time, the possibility of ‘ _what if_ ’.

 _‘Like a river flows_  
Surely to the sea  
Darling, so it goes  
Some things are meant to be’

The tears she’d held back earlier ran unchecked down her face as music wound around the empty living room.

 _‘So take my hand_  
Take my whole life, too  
For I can’t help falling in love with you’

“ _For I… Can’t help… Falling in love with you_ ,” Aubrey sang softly with the song, the last piano notes drifting away.

With fingers that wanted to tremble, she turned off the radio and walked stiffly into the kitchen. Wetting a paper towel she washed her face then filled a glass with water. If she didn’t force herself to forget, she was afraid she’d just… _break_ … under the weight of her own decisions. Under her fear of letting go and taking that risk. As she slowly drank, she worked harder than she ever had in her life to control her emotions and bend them to her will.

By the time she heard Stacie come back down the stairs, Aubrey had locked up all her feelings and memories into a small room in her heart. She didn’t know how long she’d be able to resist taking a peek, but she hoped it would be long enough that the pain wouldn’t be as sharp as it was right now.

She was mixing up the French toast batter when Stacie appeared in the doorway. “Were they up?” Aubrey was pleased her voice didn’t shake.

“Nope.” Stacie pulled the bread from on top of the fridge and put it by the stove. “But they’re getting dressed… supposedly. I bet I have to go back and get them.”

“You underestimate Beca’s love of breakfast foods.” Aubrey pointed her spoon at her. “They’ll be down before the table is fully set.”

“Five laps that they won’t – I win, I don’t have to do as many as the rest. You win, I have to do five extra.”

“Deal.” Aubrey said instantly.

“Ha.” Stacie turned to Aubrey. “Put me to work.”

“How are you at scrambling eggs?” Aubrey asked as she carefully moved the bowl of batter next to the stove. She reached up and grabbed a stack of plates to go next to it.

“Oh I am an _artist_ at eggs,” Stacie said, immediately grabbing another bowl and taking it and the eggs to the sink to start cracking.

“Oh are you now?” Aubrey carefully dipped a slice of bread in the batter. “I’ll be the judge of that, thank you very much.”

“You’ll be eating those words very soon.” Stacie said as she reached around Aubrey and grabbed the milk. “And my amazing scrambled eggs.” She paused. “We’re going to need bacon.”

“Agree.” Aubrey tapped one of the bottom cupboards with her foot. “Frying pan in here.”

“Maybe sausage too.” Stacie muttered as she rummaged in the fridge.

“Both?”

“I saw and my stomach answered the call.” Stacie set both packages on the counter and got out two pans. “I’ll do the dishes after and get Beca to help.”

“If she can move,” Aubrey said with a chuckle.

“True.” Stacie shrugged. “It’ll be worth it anyway.”

Side by side the two of them prepped breakfast; joking and laughing like it were any other morning.

Except everything had changed.

Still, the mood was light and Aubrey was just happy that things weren’t awkward between them, even if she was secretly wondering if Stacie was truly as unaffected as she seemed. As Beca and Chloe finally yawned their way into the kitchen Aubrey had convinced herself she didn’t want to know the answer either way. It wouldn’t change anything and could quite possibly break her more than she could recover from.

“Damnit.” Stacie said from the back table where Aubrey had just set down two French toast loaded plates. “I bet Aubrey five laps of cardio that I’d have to come back up and get you guys.”

Aubrey carried over the last two plates and set them down. “You didn’t see Beca inhale two and a half servings the last time I made French toast.

“Guilty.” Beca sniffed appreciatively. “That smells great, Aubrey.”

“Thanks, Beca.” Aubrey smiled at her as Beca went to the table and sat down. Aubrey opened the fridge and took out the jug of orange juice to the table and set it beside the glasses she’d gotten out earlier. She passed Chloe carrying a giant mug of coffee that had to be destined for Beca as she walked back to the stove.

“Sorry I disappointed you, Stacie.” Beca said then looked up as Chloe set down the coffee. “Thanks.”

“Eh.” Stacie said and Aubrey knew she wasn’t done. “As long as you didn’t disappoint Chloe last night, too.”

Aubrey turned to watch and didn’t bother hiding her grin as Beca choked on the drink she’d just taken of her coffee.

“Jesus Christ!” Beca coughed as she finally finished swallowing her mouthful.

“No complaints here,” Chloe said cheerfully.

‘ _Guess that answers that_ ,’ Aubrey mused as she picked up the last two dishes of eggs, bacon and sausage.

“Oh my god. Please kill me now.” Beca was muttering as Aubrey leaned between her and Chloe to set down the plates.

“Then who would eat all the food I made?” She ignored Beca’s jump though it amused her and finally sat down next to Stacie to eat.

“Good point,” Beca said as she began to load up her plate. “Letting this go to waste would be a crime.”

Aubrey smiled at Beca’s enthusiasm for her cooking, the one thing they’d always agreed on if nothing else. The kitchen had always been a neutral zone for them.

Stacie nudged her arm and nodded at the plates. “G’wan, time for you to eat your words and my eggs.”

Willingly Aubrey took the plate Chloe handed her and added scrambled eggs next to her French toast. Salting and peppering it to her taste, she took a bite and barely held back the moan at the fluffy perfection that hit her tongue. Stacie smiled knowingly at her anyway and Aubrey rolled her eyes. “Fine, I admit these are the most amazing scrambled eggs I’ve eaten in my life. I was clearly wrong to doubt your artistry.”

“Damnit, I should’ve recorded that!” Stacie frowned as she added bacon to her plate.

“Too late.” Aubrey poured herself a glass of juice and then filled everyone else’s when they nodded at her.

They all fell silent as they began to eat and Aubrey was afraid she was going to dive back into her earlier thoughts despite her vow to never think of it again when she noticed something.

Beca had placed her right hand on Chloe’s thigh.

It was a small thing and it looked like she’d done it without thinking, but it spoke volumes to Aubrey. In fact, if she was right, that was the first time Beca had made the first move. Since break, Chloe was always reaching out to touch Beca in some way and Beca always returned it, but only _after._

It wasn’t like Aubrey was spying on them, but her standards for Chloe’s partner were high – and Beca had just jumped several notches and… Aubrey smiled as Chloe put her hand on Beca’s leg and the brunette looked down in surprise then looked over at her own hand.

Aubrey lifted her mug of coffee to her lips and found Beca’s eyes move to her. She smiled warmly, letting go of the last of her hesitations and irrational best friend judgement. Beca was good _to_ Chloe and _for_ her.

Everything had changed.

But at least some of it was for the better.

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I KNOW there was angst here. But if you've been reading the series in the written order vs chronological, you all know what happens anyway! And if you're reading this chronologically, stick with me!


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